Time is an abstract thing
by breezer2
Summary: After a mission goes wrong, Sam and Jack get lost on a planet far away with no hope for return. After months they start to accept their faith and move on. Only to have their new found happiness taken away from them.
1. Fruit Loops

**Time is an abstract thing**

**Chapter 1 - Fruit Loops**

The shots of staff weapons buzzed around their heads like spurred on bees. Fiery explosions hailed right, left, front, back onto the dark floor of the Goa'Uld mothership. Today was a crappy day, and that not only since the Goa'Uld had discovered them on their ship. Crappy went all the way back to breakfast. All he had wanted to do was to eat his Fruit Loops, but Daniel had lured him into a lengthy conversation about the ethics of warfare. When Jack had turned his attention back to his breakfast, the loops had turned into rainbow-colored mush. Practicing his willpower, he had kept it calm, no need to get agitated over loops. He simply got up for another bowl instead, but no time for that.

"UNAUTHORIZED ACTIVATION FROM OUTSIDE!" had roared through the corridors of Stargate Command, and he and Daniel had sprinted off. Now, eight hours later, he was on this goddamn spaceship—without breakfast. The owner of this particular big spaceship was cheesed with them. Mainly with Daniel, after all, he had the Eye of Ra in his pocket. How it got there? Well… Jacob had come to ask them for help. A Tok'Ra spy on Anubis' ship had gained possession of the eye, but they had lost contact, and then, 24 hours later, Jacob had decided to dismiss Tok'Ra protocol and follow the Air Force 'no man left behind' ethos. Hammond had approved the mission, and only an hour later, SG1 sneaked onto the planet over which Anubis' ship hovered. Their order: retrieve the eye and, if still alive, said Tok'Ra spy. Everything had gone pretty smoothly. The good old 'Teal'c slipping into a Jaffa armor' trick had worked, and they managed to get on the ship undetected. The Tok'Ra device had located their double agent, and since they knew the corridors of a Goa'Uld ship almost as well as the ones in Cheyenne Mountain, they had found him quickly. Easy, up until then, and Jack should have known better because seconds later, a troop of Jaffa had detected them, alarmed the others, and now about 200 Jaffa were on their heels. The Tok'Ra was shot early on, and in a wild shootout in which Carter, Teal'c and Jack gave Daniel cover, Daniel had grabbed the eye and stuffed it into his pockets.

Anyways, no time to get into the weeds of it now. Colonel O'Neill dove around a corner, locked the door behind him and fired at the switchboard. _Plus 1 minute._

"Dead end!" Daniel called out and looked around in the storage room. The tinny steps of the Jaffa coming closer.

_50 seconds._ O'Neill raised his gun, ready to fire at any Jaffa that would make it through the door. Taking down as many as possible before they would eventually overpower SG1 and take them captive. There was only one thought that was worse than getting tortured—getting tortured without breakfast.

Carter's voice broke through the noise, "Transport rings. Daniel, Teal'c, I'll send you down. We'll follow! "

_40 seconds._

"But Sam," Daniel growled.

"No buts, Daniel! Go! Dial out and keep the gate open for us," Jack commanded.

_30 seconds._ Out of the corner of his eye, Jack saw the white light dissolve Daniel and Teal'c and gone they were. He would have to ask Carter one day how that beamy thing exactly worked.

Suddenly the wave of a massive explosion sent him tumbling backward. Smoke rose from the door. _Crap. 5 seconds_. He had miscalculated.

"Carter!"

"They hit the control center. The transport rings are useless!"

* * *

"ACTIVATION FROM THE OUTSIDE!" echoed through the mountain. General Hammond rushed down the stairs into the control room and took his place behind Walter.

"It's SG1, Sir."

"Open the iris!" General Hammond commanded, staring impatiently at the silver iris, which opened with the slow blink of a predator's eye. As soon as the iris was open, Daniel Jackson stumbled through the blue surface, quickly followed by Teal'c with his staff weapon held up high. They both swirled around, waiting for Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill to follow them through the galaxy home into safety. But nobody followed — just something: staff weapon volleys fired through the gate into the gate room.

"Leave it open!" Daniel yelled.

General Hammond stared at the gate, while more and more shots hit the gateroom, the first soldier going down in the enemy's fire. Suddenly a figure merged out of the event horizon. Against all hopes, it wasn't Colonel O'Neill or Major Carter, but a Jaffa. Teal'c aimed and took the Jaffa's life with a well-aimed shot. Just that second, another shot dart through the gate and hit Teal'c.

"Close the iris!" General Hammond barked.

"No!" Daniel screamed angrily. But the silver iris already followed orders and locked out the universe. Dull blows drummed into the iris, each of them adding another crack to the fragile thing called hope. Finally, the event horizon crumbled with a whoosh, and the dull impacts yield to a deadly silence. Soldiers, technicians, the medical team, Janet, Daniel, Teal'c, and General Hammond stared at the now so quiet Stargate.

* * *

"Shit," Jack hissed, giving up his cover. The Jaffa had not entered the room yet, but it was only a matter of seconds. Frantically, he looked around. They needed a hiding place. His eyes fell on a small glider, and his body followed right after, storming toward it, "Carter, in here!"

Another explosion rocked the ship. The door flew open, and Jaffa charged into the room. As the Jaffa looked around for the invaders, the glider took off—onboard Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill. Carter fired a lethal round at the Jaffa, and O'Neill maneuvered the glider through the narrow corridors of the spaceship, scraping along the walls—but no one was giving style scores today.

"Carter!" O'Neill yelled over the noise of the glider brushing along the walls.

"How do we get out of here?"

"Straight ahead!"

"I don't know about you, but I still can't walk through walls."

A fiery stream of energy shot ahead of him and ate a hole into the wall.

"How about flying through?" Carter triumphed.

Jack pushed the glider to peak performance, while more and more staff weapon shots hammered into their six. With a liberating whoosh, they slipped out of the spacecraft's tightness into the infinity of space and then further into a quick second of hyperspeed.

"If you had presented that as a plan, I would have declared you crazy."

O'Neill steered the glider deeper into the blackness. Away from the spaceship, away from the planet with the Stargate. For the first time, Jack had a thought to spare for Daniel and Teal'c. He hoped his friends had made it through the gate. As the little glider floated for some minutes, he noticed silence coming from behind him.

"Carter, you good?"

"Yes, sir. I can't believe we made it out of there."

"Yeah… But let's wait with popping the champagne bottles until those lights stop blinking." Worried, he looked at the control unit of the gilder, which was performing a nervous light show.

"They won't. We took some serious hits. We're ballistic."

"So, we're going down?"

"Well, given that we're in space and hence in zero gravity, not really, Sir."

"Carter…"

"Yes, we're going down."

"So what do we do? I've done the drifting in space and waiting for death thing, not fun."

"I've located a planet not too far away. If we get into hyperspeed one last time, we could get into the planet's orbit and…"

"And what?"

"Well, crash there… Sir."

„Genius plan." His voice dripping with sarcasm.

„WIth a bit of luck, we survive the crash and find a Stargate."

"Easy peasy. I just hope you got up on the right side of the bed this morning, 'cause I didn't."

For a quiet moment, they floated through the star-spiked blackness. Then Jack took a deep breath, maybe the last one he would ever draw—not that he liked being dramatic, but suddenly thoughts and feelings washed over him in an uncontrolled wave. This ludicrous plan wasn't even a plan. But he would not again just sit in an unmaneuverable spaceship and wait for oxygen to run out slowly, painfully. If they would make it to the planet, and if they would survive the crash, and if they would find a Stargate, he would really think about that retirement idea again. So the next time he was in a situation like this, he could turn around and kiss her.

"Carter…"

But he couldn't even say it. As if saying what he felt would seal their fate, be their death sentence.

"Sir?"

"Let's not do the 'it was an honor' thing. I feel today might as well be our lucky day."

Her giggle made him smile.

"Activating hyperspeed on your command, Major."

He couldn't see her, but he was sure how her face looked right now. Her blue eyes determine just like when she blows up suns. He heard her swallow as if she swallowed words she had formed already and instead said, "I feel lucky too. Initiating hyperspeed in 3... 2... 1... Go!"


	2. Blessing in disguise

**Chapter 2 - Blessing in disguise**

It took a second for everyone to start moving after the paralyzing shock. They had just closed the iris under enemy fire, and with this may have killed their team members. Experienced as he was, General Hammond was the first one to get moving and rushed down into the gateroom where Daniel and Teal'c were staring at the empty ring of naquadah. The SGC arrival hall to earth looked like a battlefield. Black, smokey holes covered the walls. Injured soldiers groaned with pain, and from the corner of his eye, General Hammond watched a nurse close the eyes of a dead soldier. He had made the right decision, protecting Earth from a possible naquadria bomb—but at this moment, as he was stepping closer to Daniel Jackson and Teal'c, he felt nervous, anticipating the anger the archaeologist would throw at him.

"What happened?" Jacob Carter came running into the gate room. He hadn't been there when the dramatic scenes played out just minutes before. "Where's Sam? Jack?"

In a fury, Daniel swirled around. "We have to go back! Maybe they didn't smash into pieces at the iris."

"Dr. Jackson. I understand this is…"

Hammond was interrupted by Jacob, the usually so calm Tok'Ra sounded furious. "You cut them off?"

"We don't know if Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill were behind us. Major Carter transported Daniel Jackson and me from the ship to the Stargate, and Colonel O'Neill gave the command to activate the gate. We held the gate for as long as we could, but before we could make sure Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill had transported down, we had to abandon our position and escape through the gate." As always, Teal'c was the calm voice of reason.

"We need to go back. They might still be on the PX768."

"Before I send anyone for a rescue mission, we need to know what is waiting for us on the other side."

"There will be many Jaffa guarding the gate," Jacob said, rubbing his head. He knew Sam could take care of herself, and Jack was there too, but if they hadn't made it through the gate, and he hoped so with every inch of his body, they would be captives by Anubis by now. There was no way SG teams could shoot their way through to them.

"General," Daniel protested. "If Anubis has them, they are as good as dead. We need to go before it's too late."

"Anubis knows how valuable Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill are. He might torture them to get information or use them to negotiate an exchange for the Eye of Ra." Teal'c said and flinched when Dr. Fraiser touched the bleeding wound on his arm—but only if you know Teal'c, you could recognize the flinch at all.

"You have the eye?" General Hammond and Jacob asked at the same time.

Without another word, Daniel reached into his BDU pocket and produced a crystal. Deadpan, he dropped it into the palm of General Hammond and said in a low voice, "Mission accomplished."

* * *

The glider tumbled through clouds. Up, down, everything seemed to be one. Their senses dull of the constant rotation. No anchor point for the eyes. Everything was gray, expect some burning pieces of debris that separated from the glider and sought their one way down. Sam felt like she was being squeezed into her seat, almost unable to breathe. The Colonel's eyes were closed, his hands wrapped in an iron grip around the useless rudder. It was hot. Entering the atmosphere of this planet brought the interior of the little glider to boil.

"1000 feet before impact!" Carter pressed out.

"Next time we go down, let's take a F-15. At least it has parachutes," Jack replied. Carter had to smile. If they were going down, at least with a smile, she decided. Suddenly a thought flickered through her brain.

"Hold on, Colonel," she called.

"What do you think I'm doing here?"

But Carter's brain had already switched to survival mode.

100 feet.

80 feet.

60 feet.

50 feet before impact, she pressed a button and closed her eyes for a short prayer. With a yank, their fall was slowed down. Fresh air flowed into the cockpit. Colonel O'Neill squinted up. The roof was open, slowing down the fall. _At least something._

But then as the glider smashed into the ground and a massive blow hit him to the core he couldn't feel yet think anything anymore. He was hurled forward and back, his head popping against all sides. Then it was quiet, and nothing moved. He felt a pain in his shoulder, in his head, everywhere. But pain meant life.

"Carter."

Jack tried to turn around in the crumpled glider. No way. It was so tight, stuck between pieces of metal.

"Carter!"

Silence.

With nervous fingers, he opened his seatbelt and slid out of his seat.

"Carter!"

Once he had wiggled himself free, he turned to her. Eyes closed, a nasty cut on her forehead. Gently he lifted her head.

"Carter?"

A word of hope.

"Come on."

His trembling fingers trailed over her neck, lingering on the soothing throb of her pulse. _Thank god._

"Carter," he said again, shaking her shoulder. Then his eyes dipped into the deepest blue.

"We landed?" she said with a hoarse voice.

"Not sure I would call that a landing. But yeah, your whacky plan worked."

"Now we just need to find the Stargate," Carter replied, loosening her belt and slowly straightening up.

"Sure. Let's get some breakfast first."

* * *

"Teal'c, I need to take care of your arm," Dr. Fraiser said. They were still standing in the gateroom. "And Daniel, you need to do to the infirmary as well."

"We need to go back," Daniel protested.

"Gentlemen, you'll listen to Dr. Fraiser. Get yourself checked out, and we debrief in an hour."

"General…"

"Dr. Jackson, please. I want to bring Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill back as much as you do. But going back now is suicidal. We need to weigh our options," Hammond said.

"George is right. We can't help them if we get killed ourselves. I'll contact the Tok'Ra and Jaffa resistance. Maybe they have insiders on Anubis ship or the planet." Jacob was thankful for Selmak, taking over and controlling him. Just like Daniel and Teal'c, he wanted to go back now, but he knew that wouldn't help.

With overt resistance, Daniel and Teal'c followed Dr. Fraiser to the infirmary.

* * *

"At least not another sand planet," Jack said, looking over the vast, lush landscape. Mountains rose in the horizon. Birds chirped over their heads. An orange sun illuminated the sky.

O'Neill and Carter had salvaged the glider and stripped it from anything that could be of help. Not that anything was functioning or worth the heavy load. But it felt like hope—like they could make it back. After checking their bodies for injuries and realizing that besides some cuts and bruises, they were almost uninjured, they had started to move. Their biggest problem right now was water. The fall through the atmosphere had dehydrated them severely, and if they wanted to stay alive, they needed to drink. As weird as this day was, it came with some positive surprises. Such as that the gravity on this planet was different from earth's. One of the reasons why their fall had been slowed down. And also, tiered as they were, it felt nice to have a little extra bounce in your step.

"I'm not so sure if 'no sand' is a good sign. We've never been on a planet with vegetation like this. There might be no Stargate," Carter replied. She sounded tired. And when he looked at her, he got worried. They needed water. Asap.

"You mean these snakes have a soft spot for..." Suddenly he stopped, squinting into the distance. "Do you see this reflection over there?" Jack pointed ahead and Carter's eye followed his hands.

"Water!" she said, and with newfound energy, they marched swiftly toward the wide river. Finally. When they reached the bank, the Colonel brushed off his shirt, slipped out of his boots, and dropped the military trousers. With quick steps, he dove into the floods—and Carter froze. Her eyes fixed on the muscular back of her Colonel—her Colonel, she reminded herself, as she watched him descent and emerged, the sun reflecting from his wet body. He took deep gulps, filling up with the much-needed liquid.

She felt inappropriate feelings stream through her body. _God Dammit Sam._

"Carter, it's the wrong time to be shy. Get in here and drink," he called out and waved her towards him. Then he smirked. "I'm not gonna peek."

Carter took a deep breath. Her body yearned for the refreshment, her parched cells for the much-needed hydration, so she slipped out of her ripped BDUs and sprinted into the cooling wet. When O'Neill looked back, he saw her swimming and drinking and, most importantly, smiling.

"Feels good, right?" He swam closer but kept an appropriate distance. She nodded.

"This might be one of my favorite missions yet. Stealing Ra's eye from Anubis, flying a glider through a spaceship, crashing on a planet and then." He grinned. "Skinny dipping with Carter."

Sam smiled back. "Let's hope we'll find someone you can tell that story to."

"You're such a party pooper, Carter." Jack splashed water into her direction, then swam towards the shore. Sam followed at a distance, and as he turned his back to her, she slipped into her dry yet smelly and burned clothes.

"We should find a camp for the night." The sun was setting, and two moons slowly rose.

The sunset had been stunning. Now the two moons shone brightly from the sky. One bright white, the other blood red. They had found a small cave where O'Neill had lit a fire while Carter had killed a deer-like creature with a very targeted shot. They didn't know if it was edible, but the local supermarket was a bit too far away. The deer sizzled over the crackling fire, and Sam stared into the flames. The heat felt good. As soon as the sun disappeared behind the mountain range, it had drastically cooled down. They had no gear, just tattered clothes, and a bed of leaves. But nevertheless, Sam felt good—almost invincible. They had survived this day. So they would survive a chilly night.

"Any idea where we are?" Jack looked up into the sky as if trying to orient himself by the stars.

"Given the time we spent in hyperspeed, we could be anywhere in a radius of 30 light-years away from PX768. But if the glider had only a slight malfunction in hyperspeed, it could have thrown us out anywhere. And of course, I can not accurately calculate the time we have been floating around in space..."

"So about 30 light-years away from PX768?" Jack interrupted.

She had to smile and then, after her head had done the math, stopped, "That's thousands of planets in the vicinity of PX768."

"I was hoping someone would just accidentally stop by and give us a ride."

"Probably not."

"Yeah…" Jack took a deep breath. Stranded. Again. He wasn't sure if he liked the idea of being stranded with Carter, or preferred her being back home while he was stranded with someone else. Not that he didn't like her company, but because if he trusted someone to bring him back, it was her. He watched the shadow of the flames dance on her face. She looked tired, with a big bruise around the red cut on her forehead.

"Get some rest. We'll search for the gate tomorrow. And, hey, maybe someone lives here. Someone nice. Who gives us new clothes. And beer."

"Beer?" Sam laughed.

"Sure, would go nicely with this deer. By the way, if you don't like it burned à la O'Neill, we should eat."

Jack pulled a piece of crispy meat from the roast and handed it to Sam.

_Finally, breakfast_, Jack thought.

* * *

Strange sounds tried to lull her to sleep. But her thoughts were racing, and her body ached. She needed the sleep, allow her brain to give in. Tomorrow, she would be able to think clearly. Tomorrow, she would realize they might be in a hopeless situation. But today, she needed sleep. No thoughts, no fear. Today, they survived.

Jack watched Carter. Her body was twitching as it fought the sleep that was coming for her. It took minutes before her breathing slowed down, and her face relaxed.

He looked back at the fire. _What a day. _What a story. Daniel wouldn't believe him that Carter jumped almost naked into a river. It was just one good reason why they would have to make it back. If Daniel and Teal'c had made it back themselves. If the Jaffa had captured them, he had little hope that they were still alive. Anubis would have the eye back and would have relieved his anger by torturing his friends—to death probably. If they had made it through, they would start the search. For all they knew, he and Sam were still on Anubis' ship. Maybe they would search PX768. But why would they search other planets? It wasn't the first time a member of SG1 was stranded. For all that's worth, he probably had the most experience with it. And as unlikely as every rescue had been in the past, this one seemed impossible. Not just a buried gate or a parallel moon. It was so random that they had ended up here. Even Carter couldn't reconstruct their trip, so how would someone else figure out where the universe had spat them out. Jack thought back at Laira. He didn't think much about her. She had been there when he didn't believe there was a way back—that was it. When he was stranded with Maybourne, he hadn't given up so quickly. Obviously, because Maybourne wasn't his type, but also because by then Jack knew that Carter would do anything to bring him back. He had felt confident that she would not give up on him. Suddenly he remembered Teal'c words:_ 'When Colonel Maybourne and yourself were stranded off-world, Major Carter felt a similar sense of frustration. She despaired at the thought of never seeing you again.'_ He must have looked desperate himself—otherwise, Teal'c wouldn't have told him. Now they were stranded together. He smiled; there was something nice about this thought. Something that felt like opportunity. But he shook that thought away—they would get back home. And then he could think about opportunity.

Hours later the fire was small, not much heat radiating off it. A sudden noise let Jack jerk out of his sleep. He looked around, but everything seemed quiet. His eyes fell on Carter. She was curled up next to him; her face looked pale. Suddenly he felt the cold. So cold. For a second, he hesitated, but then slowly moved towards her. When his body touched hers, she twitched and fluttered her eyes open.

"Remember that time in Antarctica?" he whispered.

"It was much colder."

"Yeah, but your idea to keep warm would work here, too, don't you think?" He lifted his arm, inviting her into the warmth of his body. She hesitated for a moment. Back then, it had been pure survival. Now, every time she had been in his arms, it had been for comfort—never without feelings. But dang it was cold. She smiled softly and rolled closer until her body fit into his like a missing puzzle piece. She felt his heat, smelled him, and was just thankful for how tired she was, so instead of overthinking the moment, she enjoyed the embrace and relaxed against the steady up and down of his chest.

He noticed how her body let go and melted like wax in his arms. It felt good. For the first time today, he felt that way. And just like her head before, his went back to Antarctica. Back then, he didn't enjoy the feeling of her in his arms. She was his (attractive) Captain, he injured and still not over Sarah. Now it felt very different, and he allowed himself to enjoy it.

„Colonel?" Carter mumbled dozily.

"Shhhh."

Yes, an ironic similarity to the conversation about his side-arm.

"I forgot to tell you that this planet is approximately three times the size of earth. So it could take a while to find the gate."

"Thanks, Carter."

"For what?"

"Oh, I'm gonna sleep much better now."

She chuckled.

"Carter. No giggeling."

"Yes… Goodnight, Sir."

"Night, Carter."

While she fell back to sleep, he pulled her just a bit closer. They wouldn't find back home tomorrow, so he might as well enjoy this night.

* * *

While Jack and Sam fell asleep on a planet a galaxy away, after leaving their home planet 24 hours ago, Daniel and Teal'c arrived in the infirmary just minutes after they had stumbled through the gate. Little did any of the four know how abstract time could be.


	3. Bodies

**Chapter 3 - Bodies**

The sun rose slowly and sent one of both moons to the other side of the planet. The horizontally approaching sunbeams fell on Sam's face, tickling her awake. She woke up without any sense of where she was, feeling a tight grip around her. Calm breaths stroke along her neck and sent goosebumps over her body. She closed her eyes and moved a little deeper into his arms. It was the fifteens morning she woke up like this. The first morning after their crash landing, Colonel O'Neill had been up early, organizing their few belongings. After a day's march along the river, they had searched for a camping ground, hunted, and fell asleep in yet another embrace. They didn't talk about it anymore. It was cold, and they needed each other to stay warm. But it had also become a comforting routine. After the first week, it didn't feel awkward anymore. He opened his arms for her, she rolled in, and in the morning, she would wake up right there. Sometimes she woke up before him then pretended to be still asleep—enjoying his closeness. She now knew how he twitched when he fell asleep, how deep his breathing would get, how he didn't wake up from animal sounds, but the slightest crack would jerk him out of his sleep. Today was one of the mornings she pretended to be asleep just to stay a minute longer in his warm arms. While she lay there, thinking about nothing and anything, she suddenly felt him move behind her—just like he always moved when waking up. But he didn't nudge her as he usually did. Instead, he gently pushed his nose into her hair and pulled his arms a bit tighter around her body. They stayed like this for a moment, until a deer galloped through their camp and official woke them. Quickly they moved away from each other before looking at each other for the first time. A shy smile on his face and slight redness on her cheeks. _Oho_, she thought, _trouble Sam, trouble._

Minutes later, she stood at the river. They had been following its course for the past 15 days. Their logic seemed simple: it would provide them with water and food. If this plant were inhabited, they would probably live close to a river too. But so far: no sign of human life forms. Neither extinct nor alive. With every day, hope dwindled. With every day, it got harder to pretend this was just another mission.

Sam filled her water bottle and let her eyes travelled along the river. A planet three times the size of earth—it could take forever to find humans, let alone the Stargate.

A sudden rustle pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Coffee ready yet?" Colonel O'Neill walked towards her, stretching his limbs. As much as he liked sleeping curled around Carter, as uncomfortable was sleeping on the bare ground. He would give anything for a bed—and coffee.

"A plant we yet have to find." Sam smiled and watched as he splashed water on his face.

"Let's grab breakfast on the go. Maybe we make it over that mountain today."

* * *

It was late, and he was tired. But they couldn't waste any time. No more than an hour had passed since their arrival. Daniel hadn't even showered yet. The infirmary had been crowded, and Daniel had to wait to get his cut taken care of.

Now he was marching into the briefing room. General Hammond, Jacob, and Teal'c, one arm in a sling, were already waiting for him. General Hammond was turning the crystal in his hands. He had learned that anything could be from great power. But today Hammond, couldn't shake off the anger about the fact that the pursuit for this little thing had put his people in danger. As if Teal'c could read his thoughts, and Hammond secretly believed the Jaffa could, he said, "It's one of six crystals. Together they power the most powerful weapon the Goa'Uld have ever built."

"At least we have it now and not Anubis," Jacob replied.

General Hammond knew it was important to talk about the other eyes and possibly even bring this Goa'Uld weapon under their control, but for now, he needed to find out what had happened.

"Dr. Jackson, Teal'c, could you please explain what happened on PX768? What happened to Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill?"

While Teal'c described their last mission, Daniel's eyes wandered out of the window into the gateroom. Siler was fixing the holes the Jaffa's fire had eaten into the concrete. With every hole that was filled, another one was ripped into his heart. They had left them behind. On Anubis planet. The most dangerous place in the galaxy. What made it worse was the thought of the alternative. Which meant: Sam and Jack had made it to the gate, and Hammond had closed the iris before they rematerialized on earth. The dull drums onto the iris still rung in his ears—maybe two of them had been his friends. The mentioning of his name suddenly interrupted his thoughts and brought him back to the now.

"Dr. Jackson."

"Sorry."

"I just told Teal'c and Jacob that Dr. Fraise analyzed the DNA on the iris. There was no match with Major Carter's or Colonel O'Neill's."

Daniel felt relief, but couldn't bite back. "At least we didn't kill them."

He was still angry about the General's decision. He had told him to keep the gate open, because he had believed they were behind him, and the General had ignored him. Just like he decided to ignore this remark.

"Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter know the protocol. Their iris code will be deactivated in 24 hours. If we haven't heard from them by then, we'll send a MALP. And if the situation allows, we'll send SG3."

Hammond nodded to Teal'c's arm. "I'm afraid you'll have to sit this mission out, Teal'c."

Teal'c slowly bowed his head.

"Jacob, let me know as soon as you hear back from the Tok'Ra."

* * *

30 days. An entire month gone. No plan on how to get home. In her frustration, Carter had started to fumble with the salvaged glider. Again. She had tried several times. Jack wouldn't be able to build anything even with functioning pieces, but even Carter couldn't do anything with this junk. He watched her as she cursed, worried when he saw helplessness on her face. Yes, 30 days was a long time. And this one was rough. No equipment, not even a toothbrush. Every day they hiked as long as the sun would allow, but nothing changed. Not the vegetation, not the climate. Either this planet was truly humongous, or it only had one climate zone. Still, Jack was worried that winter would come. He had no idea how to get them through anything cold. They didn't talk about the obvious. Pretending silence would make it less real.

"Dinner's ready," he said softly.

She smiled weary, dropped the glider piece she was working on, and sat down next to him, brushing along his side. Something in the way they acted towards each other had changed. Yeah, sleeping in each other's arms—that was new. But other than that, they touched more frequently. Still innocently. But without the guilt a touch had caused before.

He looked at Carter again. She had lost weight. As she sat there, pulling the meat from the fish bones, she suddenly seemed so vulnerable. Sometimes he forgot that even though she was one of the strongest soldiers he knew, she still was a woman. For a second, he saw her with different eyes. He couldn't imagine anyone else going on for days and days without getting frustrated—neither with him or the situation.

Carter seemed to notice his eyes on her and stared back right at him. She nodded towards him, silently asking, 'Hey, what's up?'

He shook his head. How the hell would he bring them back?

"Sir?"

"Believe me, Carter. You don't wanna know."

"It doesn't look good," she said. No frills. No drama. Just a matter of fact. "By now, they have deleted our iris code and called off the search on PX768. And I have no idea why they would even start searching other planets, let alone here. A planet without a Stargate."

"We don't know that yet."

"No, but..."

"Carter," he interrupted her. "We're not giving up."

"I know, Sir." She quickly looked at him, then back into the fire. "At least we're together." It was almost a whisper.

He waited, knew there was more to come.

"When I was trapped on the Prometheus… I didn't tell this anyone, but I had visions."

"Visions?"

"I saw people. Daniel, Teal'c, my dad—you."

"Hope I looked better than today."

She chuckled, and it made him feel better.

"It felt so real. I know it was just in my head, but it helped me not to give up. I can't even imagine being here by myself. I don't think I would be still…"

"Carter…" He didn't want to hear what she was about to say. "We're together, we're gonna stay together, and we're gonna get through this together."

"Yes, Sir, but at one point, we need a plan b."

"I'm working on it."

They fell back into silence. But Jack had the feeling that she was building up some courage to say more. And he was right.

"In one of my visions, I had another vision."

"A vision in a vision?"

"Yeah…"

"What about?"

She looked at him. Big eyes. Uncertainty in them. And something else. Then she shook her head. "Never mind."

He felt like it was important, but pushing her was the wrong way to go. So instead, he said, "I've been stranded myself quite a bit. I know how it feels."

"Did you ever give up?"

_Oh._ A question Jack hadn't seen coming. That's not where he wanted this to go. But here they were.

"Perhaps... Couldn't know that you would invent new technology." And then to distract, "Hey, did they ever give you a Nobel Prize for that?"

Carter smiled a sad smile. One that made him nervous. She looked back at the fire and said quietly, "I could not NOT bringing you back."

He knew the words she was saying meant something else. Something that made his heart jump and his stomach curl together. Even though his head had entertained that thought for a brief second before, he noticed for the first time that they were here together but alone. He could say anything he wanted. Anything he had wanted to say for so long. Everything that held him back was on a different planet. He opened his mouth and formed words he didn't know yet. But somewhere between hope and despair, they got stuck. He looked into her eyes, which were filled with expectations.

"Let's hope Daniel and T can't either."

It was so much easier to joke than to say what he wanted to say. Carter understood and said nothing—like always.

* * *

"How do you stay so calm?" Daniel looked a Jacob.

They were sitting in the cafeteria, eating dinner after the debrief and after Daniel had taken a shower.

"I mean Sam is your daughter and either lost or a prisoner of one of the cruelest Goa'Ulds out there, and you seem so calm."

Jacob looked up, and Daniel wasn't sure what to make of his expression.

"It's Selmak."

"Right."

"I know she has a dangerous job, Daniel. And in some way, I'm responsible for that. I pushed her to join the military. She always wanted to be an astronaut, and I thought, just being a brilliant astrophysicist wouldn't be enough."

"Oh," Daniel didn't know what else to say. What had he expected?

"But believe me, Daniel, I'm not calm. It's practice. And I know she's one of the best ones out there. And she's with Colonel O'Neill. He would do anything to protect her."

"Oh yes," Daniel said with perhaps a bit too much of a smile.

"Daniel?" Jacob looked irritated.

_Did he have the foot-in-mouth disease? What was wrong with him?_

"Uh, nothing."

But Jacob didn't buy it. "I don't know what you're alluding to, but Colonel O'Neill is one of the best officers this base, maybe the Air Force has. He has a weird sense of humor, but if I had to trust someone with my people, it would be him. And that also goes for my daughter."

"Yeah, that was what I meant," Daniel mumbled — feeling heat rise in his cheeks. He should probably follow the General's orders and just go to bed. His diplomacy wasn't on point today.

* * *

Day 45. The day Colonel Jack O'Neill would finally lose his cool. But let's start at the beginning.

They had been on the go for 45 days and found a nicer camping ground, so they decided to stay for a day or two. After the usual hunting and foraging in the morning, Colonel O'Neill headed to hike a small peak to get a better overview while Carter had decided to stay back. They would meet back at camp in four hours. It was a hot day, and all she wanted was to refresh herself. With him being gone, she had time for herself. Yes, she enjoyed his company, but they had been together 24/45. A little time alone would feel good. The water was refreshing as it streamed around her naked body. She filled her lungs with air and let herself sink. The pressure around her head felt good. Different from the things she usually felt—the same sensations every day. Pressure on her feet, sun burning on her skin, sweat pearling down on her back, fiery heat on her face, cold everywhere, and then his body next to hers. She came back up and took another deep breath. His body felt different now. Skinnier and stronger and yet softer and new. During the day they acted like Colonel and Major. Like friends, maybe. But when the sun set and the cold crept in, it wasn't the body of her commanding officer anymore. His body was Jack. His hands wrapped more sensually around her, accidentally stroking parts her commanding officer would never dare to touch. She would poke her nose a bit deeper in his armpit to get more of his smell, and sometimes rest her hand on his neck to feel the throb of his pulse. Nothing but disconnected touches. They never talked let alone acknowledged them. But most days, it was the only thing that got her through the day.

With quick strokes, she swam back ashore, spread her washed clothes in the grass, and lay down next to them. Her heartbeat drummed in her chest, and water drops pearled down her ribcage, the grass tickled her back. For a brief second, it felt like a careless summer day. Sam lifted herself on her elbows and blinked into the sun, then rolled over to let the sun dry her back. Suddenly she stopped. Something was different. She looked up and there he was. Standing not far from away from her, frozen mid-step, his eyes fixated on her naked body. It was a look that lasted seconds, but they passed in slow motion. She felt embarrassment creep up her cheeks, but at the same time, a forbidden feeling arose. A tingle moved over her back, right there where she felt his eyes. So instead of ducking down, she held his glance and sent a small, shy smile his way. Her courage made her nervous—in an exciting way. But when he finally ripped his eyes away from her, his expression had darkened. He stomped off without a word, leaving her there in the grass, naked and hurt.

Her thoughts raced, her heartbeat quickened. She sat up and pulled her legs close, wrapping her arms around them. _What was that?_

The Colonel had seen her naked before. Not so full-on, but how could you spend 45 days—not even a pair of panties to spare—without getting glimpses of the other body. She didn't understand. It had been good between them. Given the situation, they had made the best out of it. They hadn't lost hope, but they also didn't whitewash things. There were moments they would laugh together, and then moments they were quiet together, both thinking about what would be if they wouldn't find a Stargate. None of them believed anymore that someone would find them here in the middle of the universe's nowhere. And they had let their barriers down. Slowly. Very slowly. After all, they had built them up over the years. But his face had been so hard, so… so disgusted. She couldn't think of a better word. And it got stuck, like a splinter, right in her heart.

She reached for her clothes—still wet. So she lay back, wrapped her arm around her head, trying to unsee the world for just a moment.

When she woke up from an angry dream of him and her, as Jack and Sam, as Colonel and Major, it was cold. The sun was gone, and big, wild clouds banked up above her. _Shit. _She quickly slipped into her BDUs. Seconds later, a screaming crack ripped the sky open, and raindrops heavy as bombs hit her. Sam shrieked as a bright flash struck into the river. She needed to get away from the water, find shelter. But before she could even think about what to do next, a sickening light filled the field, and a blue bolt cracked a tree open like an ax. She dropped to the ground, ready to push herself, ready to run for her life. Her clothes were already soaked, her hair clung onto her head. She looked around, mapping out her path. She would be safe in their cave, but this meant a run in the open. Too dangerous. The sky roared and panted above her. It was so dark, only when another lightning split the air, the landscape revealed itself in a pale, white light. One bolt later, she saw him. Soaked, wild, worried. 'CARTER.' His mouth formed, but the growling of the elements swallowed any sounds. Then it was dark again.

"HERE!" she screamed, not even hearing her one voice.

Another lightning and he was closer. The darkness came back. Suddenly Sam felt him grabbing her shirt. Sitting in the grass, they looked at each other, seeing each other's faces only for flash seconds when yet another lightning struck somewhere way too close. There was fear in his eyes. He clung on to her like he was drowning. And right then, she knew that he had stopped fighting for survival and now fought his most basic instincts. Because giving in would mean giving up on going home.

"Don't do this to me," Jack yelled over the ever-roaring thunder.

Then he pulled her into his embrace, only to pull her up a second later and drag her behind him. Her body followed like a kite in the wind. Him being the wind that carried her home. Minutes later, they slipped into the darkness of their cave.

"We need to get out of these clothes," Jack mumbled, then stripped down his soaked shirt, shoes, and pants. She couldn't move, but he did it all. Pulled her jacket off her shoulders, her shirt over her head, off her shoes, followed by her pants. Then she found herself sandwiched between the fire and his body. That moment her feelings overwhelmed her and shook her body with a sob. Salty tears mixed with raindrops and merged to one stream that ran down her cheeks. He held her close and whispered words she couldn't hear into her ear until she fell asleep.

The next morning, when she opened her eyes, she looked into his. Warm and brown, the dark anger, the wild despair, gone.

"We gonna make it home, Major," he whispered using Major for the first time in a long time. A lousy attempt to keep up the protocol, or whatever he was trying to keep up. She nodded slowly.

"Yes."

And on purpose denied him the Sir.


	4. Plan B

_**Hey friends, I just wanted to say thank you for reading my story. We're slowly getting to the climax of the story, so stay tuned.  
**__**I love reading your feedback, so if you have any, leave it in the comments. Enjoy Chapter 4.**_

* * *

**Chapter 4 - Plan B**

While Sam and Jack woke up far away from home for the 46th morning, Daniel headed to his quarters. The conversation with Jacob still echoing through his head. Why had he alluded to Jacob—Sam's dad, a General in the Air Force, Hammond's good friend—that anything was going on between Sam and Jack? He didn't even believe that himself. He knew there was nothing. Well, he assumed there were feelings. But he knew his friends too well; they would never break the rules. They had committed their lives to protect Earth from the Goa'Ulds, the Replicators, and who knew who was coming next for them. Daniel fell on his bed and looked at the grey ceiling. If they ever defeated the Goa'Ulds, he would stop this military thing. Maybe he could join a research-team. All the fighting and guns and weird rules and protocols—he was so tired of it. And now his best friends were on a Goa'Uld planet, and he had to wait 20 more hours before he could do anything about it. A yawn flexed his body. Well, since he couldn't do anything, he could as well get a couple of hours of sleep. Tomorrow he would find out where to find the other eyes. And then they would bring Sam and Jack back and then they would kick some Goa'Uld ass.

* * *

101 days without coffee. Or shower. Or fresh underwear. How many Simpson episodes had he missed? Instead: 101 days of hiking and hunting and foraging and falling asleep and waking up next to Carter. He had officially cracked his personal and—he was pretty sure—the Guinness Record for being stranded on an alien planet. Okay, well, Maybourne was still out there, but he was in exile.

"Who do you think won the Super Bowl?" he said into the silence that had been their companion on this day's hike.

She looked at him blankly. "Even if we were home, I would have no idea."

"Oh common, Carter. If we make it back, I'll make you watch it. I'll get us tickets. And popcorn. Hot dogs. Corn dogs. Beer. Lots of beer."

First, she laughed, then the smile disappeared.

"Do you still believe we'll make it back?"

"You brought me back after 100 days. What is a day more?

"They have no idea where we are."

"Carter…"

"Sir. I think it's time to face it."

He simply kept on walking, so Carter picked up the pace and positioned herself right in his way. Jack knew he wouldn't get out of this. But he could as well try.

"As much as I want to believe we will..." Carter looked at him wide-eyed because he pulled the O'Neill move and like once before plugged his fingers into his ears and started singing.

"Sir!"

He could still read her lips, so he closed his eyes. And just like back then, she grabbed his arms and pulled them down.

"Jack!" She was not going to stick to that Sir-thing when they would spend the rest of their lives here. "We're stuck here. It's you and me. And we need a new plan. We've been hiking every day; my boots are about to give up. I don't even want to talk about my clothes, yet my underwear. And while food is plenty full right now, it's getting colder. We need to find a place where we can stay if winter comes."

He looked at her.

_She had called him Jack_.

She really didn't believe in going back. Jack sighed, of course, he knew, and of course, he had a plan b.

"I found a cave that could work as winter quarter." Giving in. "It's a couple of miles back. Spotted it on one of my solo hikes."

She was startled.

"I went to the military, you know," he joked.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want to make you think I'm giving up."

For a moment, she said nothing. Her gaze wandered away and lost itself somewhere in this lush planet.

"Me too."

"What?"

"This planet is much bigger than earth. So it takes longer to turn around its axis."

"So…"

"A day here has more than 24 earth-hours."

"So we're gone...," he paused, calculated.

"For more than 101 earth days."

"And they still didn't find us? Next time I'm getting lost, I'm gonna leave you on earth so you can bring me back."

* * *

"You still got some of that good Whiskey?" Jacob stood in the door to George Hammond's office. It was past 2 am, but George was still sitting at his desk, and Jacob couldn't sleep either.

"Sure thing. Close the door, will you?"

Jacob closed the door behind him and took a seat at George's desk. George pulled out two glasses and a full bottle of Whiskey.

"Jack and I finished the last one," he said and pushed one glass over to his old friend. He knew him well and saw the concern under the so perfect General-face. "They'll be fine, Jacob. They have a talent for coming back. Especially Jack, he's like a yoyo."

Jacob took a sip and leaned back in his chair.

"From what I hear, Sam always played a crucial role in his re-appearances."

George nodded. "I guess we have to do more of the heavy lifting this time. But Daniel and Teal'c figured out where they were when the gate spit them out in Antarctica."

"Antarctica?"

"Sam never told you? That's how we found the second gate."

"I know that. She didn't tell me they were stranded there."

"For three nights. They barely made it out. When we found them, Jack was almost dead, and Sam was trying to keep him warm."

Single puzzle pieces, which had been laid out over the years, suddenly got connected with new ones and started to show a picture. Still a vague one, but Jacob had enough imagination to see the full image in front of his inner eye.

_Oho… _

For a second, Jacob got stuck with this new and somehow uncomfortable thought. Then he said, "Well if we want to bring them back this time, we need less brainpower and more manpower."

"About that, Jacob... I just talked to the president. We have approval for one rescue mission. He wants to get them back as much as we do, but he's not willing to risk too many lives." George looked at his friend. "I'm sorry, Jacob. You know…"  
"I know George. You have a good group of people here. They'll bring them back in the first attempt."

For a moment, they stared into the swirls of amber liquid in their glasses and said nothing.

"I don't know who you're doing this job." Jacob looked at George. "I mean, I've had my troops and know how it feels when they head out, but this… I was always with them, knew the situation. But for you guys, every mission is like entering another enemy-held territory."

"As you said, we have good people," George looked out of the window at the gate. "But you can't imagine how often I wish I could go with them."

"All the time?"

"All the time." George smiled.

* * *

They had hiked back to the cave Jack had found earlier. It was bigger, better protected from wind and weather, enough space to store food and firewood. So their newest mission was: fill up supplies. He couldn't imagine what they would do once winter came. Would they sit around and wait for it to pass? As long as they had a plan and something to do, this situation was bearable. Their bodies were busy, their brains too—well, he was pretty sure Carter's brain was only using 20% of its abilities, so she spent probably much more time thinking about how this would play out. Just like always, she must have be steps ahead of his brain. Maybe that's why she hadn't been embarrassed when he saw her naked. Maybe her mind had already concluded that being lost would be more endurable with bodily pleasures. He shooed this arousing thought away just like he had to every night when she lay next to him.

They still slept in each other's arms, only now with the professional quality, it should have had right from the beginning. When before Carter had nestled onto his body, she now simply let her side touch his. After what happened the day of the thunderstorm, Jack was surprised she came close at all. But it was still cold after all. The first days after said day had been uncomfortable. They barely spoke a word. Just marched, and fished, and slept. But as the days passed, they slowly went back to normal. To the beginning, you might say. Carter, Major, Colonel, Sir scattered into their sentences like too many sprinkles on a cupcake. It was easier to go back to default than to talk about it. He couldn't blame her. He knew this one was up to him. She had opened the door to a room they had locked a long time ago, and he had smashed it close. With a loud bang. Even now, thinking about how her body felt in his arms and then seeing it all naked, all so desirable, crunched his insides together. Jack wasn't sure if he would have reacted the same way today—60 days later. But back then, all he could think about was: how was he supposed to hold her warm when he had those feelings? How was he supposed to keep his promise of bringing her home, when all he wanted was to stay here so he could be with her?

He couldn't forgive himself for how he had reacted. For how he had hurt her. And yet he couldn't ask her for forgiveness. He knew this was all an illusion. One hundred five days in absolute solitude. Did he still believe they would ever go back? No. At least they were back to being friends. Carter was a good sport. One more reason to like her even more.

The sun was sitting low as he came back from the river. Today they had hiked endless miles away from their cave. Just because they would stay in one place, didn't mean they wouldn't check out all four cardinal points. So far, with the same result as before: nothing.

Carter was getting the fire started when his steps startled her, and she looked up. For a second, she just stared at him with a curious glance, a smile, and suddenly she burst into a hearty laugh. It shook her body, tickled tears out of her eyes and took her breath. He had no idea what she was laughing about, but this laugh felt like the first sunshine after a thousand days of darkness. As if her laugh was contagious, he felt happiness spread in his body. Making her laugh made him happy. This laugh made him happy. She made him happy.

"You need a haircut," she pressed out when her body finally relaxed after this explosion of joy.

Jack smiled a lopsided smile and ran his finger through his indeed longish hair. Carter got up and pulled out her pocketknife.

"I'm gonna give you a haircut. What if we finally meet someone, and you scare them away with this." Sam gestured.

"Just don't clip my ear. Kawalsky almost sliced a guy's ear off once," he replied and sat down on the rock by the fire.

"Maybe that's one of the benefits of having a woman on your team," she answered. It was a joke, and she didn't think much about it, but his head jumped back to the first time they had met—how she had walked in and taken the room in a storm. Of course, none of his guys had admitted it, but he knew them—all smitten by this snappy Captain. Just like he had been.

"I need to make it wet."

She looked at his shirt, and without hesitation, he pulled it over his head, then turned around to watch the sunset as she stroked her wet fingers through his hair. Electric shocks sparked through every part of his body.

_Oho. _

Without being able to control it, his head was pressing against her fingers. He hadn't thought this through. It felt so good. Then her hands were gone. Leaving an ache. He felt her body brush along his bare back. Unintentionally. But also very much on purpose.

"I'm going to start. Don't move." Her voice sounded raspy. He swallowed and sat still. The clipping of that little scissor stung in his ears, while his hair rained onto his back. Each impact a seismographic recording of tiny tremors. He held his breath. Felt a certain sensation travel from where she touched him towards the lower parts of his body—accumulating to one thrill. When she grabbed his head to move it to the side, he bit his lips to control a moan.

"Looking all fab yet?" he joked, surprised by how throaty yet shaky his voice sounded.

"Almost." She let his hair go, and like a planet orbiting its sun, moved around him, stopping in hot hot summer. Gently she put her fingers under his chin, lifted his head, and his eyes found hers. The warm lights of the bowing sun framed her face, the fire behind him reflected in her eyes. They looked so dark, so deep as if he could jump in and dive for an endless time. Captivated by his glance, she stopped moving. He now noticed how his face must say it all. Maybe even spelled it out: I WANT YOU. The pocketknife hung useless in her hand. He stopped breathing because all his body was able to do was formulate one thought: he could kiss her. Just lean forward and push his lips against the softness of hers until she would push back and join him for that kiss. He could wrap his hands around her body and pull her closer, dig his nose into the curve of her neck and run his hands along her back. He could pull up her shirt and feel the sensation of his skin on hers. All he needed to do was to lean forward. He felt his body gasp for her, his heart scream for her, but his head—which had started those thoughts in the first place—denied body and heart what they wanted. He had lost Sarah, the only woman he had loved before, and it had been cruel. He couldn't lose Sam—the only woman he loved now. It was easier to lose her if he wouldn't give in. Wouldn't give everything of him to her. He knew if they wouldn't make it home, they probably wouldn't make it through winter. In the beginning, it had been the thought of going back, that had held him back. Now it was the idea of not being able to go back. Frozen by this inner conflict, he sat there and stared into her eyes, and with every moment that passed, he wanted her more. A smile played around her lips. It wasn't seductive or sad. It was just there, as pure as they come.

"Almost done," she said. Her fingers brushed against his temple when she parted another strand of hair. This touch was all his brain needed to throw its hands up in the air and think: _Oh, what the hell. _

Before she could raise her hand to lift the scissor, he grabbed her arm. Gently. Softly. But certainly. Without letting her eyes go for even a split second, he got up, moving both of his hands up along her bare arms. Goosebumps spread over her skin or his—he couldn't keep them apart. His hands kept wandering, past her elbows, over the torn fabric of her shirt, her boney shoulders, and finally, he felt skin again, and underneath her accelerated pulse. His eyes dropped to her lips that in aroused anticipation opened just a bit. She swallowed, and so did he. And then he went for it. Not fast, not furious, but slowly—working his lips towards hers, one nanometer after the other. He would do it. They would do it. Would finally give in. And maybe up. But, certainly, he would give his everything. He closed his eyes, ready for this impact when suddenly an explosion tore the world apart.

But, no, it wasn't the sensation of his lips on hers. Before they even met, a growl echoed through the valley and sent both of them backward. Their heads snapped around, and there, at the horizon, a yellow light shot into the air.

"Explosion?" he said with a wild voice.

Another light shot up into the sky and then exploded into a firework of sparkles.

"Fireworks," she replied with as much surprise as you could imagine.

They watched colors explode into the night until it went all black. When they looked at each other again, the softness in their faces had given away to determination.

"I think we just got invited to a party."

The night was one without much sleep. Restless between the thoughts of what they would find tomorrow when the sun would finally show itself, and they could start their march to the place of origin of the fireworks and the thought of what almost had happened right before their discovery. They were torn between excitement and fear, bout the wish to go home and the wish to admit to their feelings finally.

When the sun finally rose, they were already up and going. After two hours, Carter spotted smoke. They were close. Minutes later, from behind a little elevation, they looked down at a village. Just like in good old days, lying on their stomachs, holding their guns, trying to read the people. To their relief, no Goa'Ulds or Jaffa. Instead: humans. No weapons, no signs of advanced technology, but therefore lots of smiles. Carter and O'Neill watched the going ons for a couple of hours. Some celebration was happening, ergo fireworks. As they waited for an occasion to show themselves, both spun their thread of thoughts, which could essentially be summarized in the following: _New clothes. Maybe they had a Stargate? Beer. What if they would make it back? Beer. Finally sleeping in a bed. How would this be between her and him when they would make it back? People wouldn't believe that nothing had happened between them. Beer. _

A young man moved away from the village, and Jack gave Sam a nod. She released the safety on her sidearm and put it in the back of her pants, where it slipped right through. Jack had to suppress a laugh.

"Hopefully they have some carbs for us."

She smiled, fished the gun out of her too loose pants and put it in her pocket instead. The plan was simple: she would do the first contact. Both of them looked like outcasts, but who could say no to her smile? So she would approach the guy, and he would stay back and give her cover if needed. Carter took a deep breath—nervous about the first encounter with someone other than Colonel O'Neill in over three months. She was about to turn around when his hands held her back. Jack looked at her intensely.

"Be careful." And then he pulled her close and because he was surprised by his actions and didn't know what to do, he simply placed a quick kiss on her forehead before letting her go. Before she could say something or yet do something, he moved his head towards the guy who was already making his way back to the village so Sam took another breath and went her way.

In the shadow of a huge bush, Jack, all tensed up, watched Sam slowly approach the stranger. His hands tight around his P90, ready to shoot. He would not let her get hurt. Not now, after all, they had been through. But to his relief, he saw a smile spread on the strangers' face, and a second later, Sam turned towards him, waving for him to come. Slowly he moved out of his cover and then quickly walked over to them.

"Karmac, this is," Carter hesitated for a second. "Jack."

The friendly stranger took Jack's hand and shook it excitedly.

"I'm glad you found your way."

"Oh, me too."

"As I told your wife…"

"My…" Jack interrupted Karmac, only to get interrupted by Sam's elbow.

"Yes, wife. Go on…"

"It is my wedding, and people from all over the country have come to celebrate. I'm glad you could make it too."

"Us too, us too. Hey Karmac, sorry but, uhm, a bear just stole all our stuff. Our good clothes, your presents..."  
"No worries, Jack. Your presence is present enough. My father will be thrilled to meet you. Follow me."  
Sam and Jack exchanged a glance and then decided to trust this friendly stranger. There was the smell of bread in the air, and they could almost imagine how clean clothes would feel. It would be good.

An hour later, Sam got out of a hot bath. Never had she appreciated a bath as much as this one. She patted her body dry—a new experience compared to just waiting for the elements to dry you, or to quickly climb back all wet into your dirty clothes because your CO is coming closer. And then she stared into her own eyes. For the first time in months, she was looking into a mirror. The cut on her forehead had left a scar, her hair was much longer, and her skin looked more tan. With surprise, she realized that she almost looked better. Besides the missing comfort, food had been healthy, fresh air was good, and the steady exercise had steeled her body. She smiled at herself and then heard a knock on the door.

"Carter?" O'Neill's voice muffled through the door.

"One minute, Sir."

Quickly she grabbed the tunic the friendly lady had given her and pulled it over her body. Oh, did it feel good. So fresh and clean. Before she stepped out, she stopped in front of the mirror again. Her hair started to curl softly, just like it had before she had begun to cut it military-short. She brushed it back behind her ear, then pulled it forward again. It didn't make sense, but now, clean and dressed in fresh clothes, she felt nervous about meeting him. As if civilization would change anything. Nevertheless, she pressed her lips together until they turned into a soft red, and then she opened the door.

First, she noticed the smell—or better said: the lack of his smell. She had come to like his mustardy, earthy scent. Either to heighten her effort to look good or to show her nervousness, a rosiness showed up on her cheeks.

"Shall we get dinner?" he asked, a little flush on his own freshly washed checks. With satisfaction, she noticed that he had kept his beard. It looked good on him.

"I hope it's not deer," she answered and joined him outside.

They were sitting at the table of the village elder. Filled with bread and some sort of bird and fruit and vegetables and cake and slowly but surely with the local brew. Everyone had been incredibly welcoming. So far, they had learned that the people on this planet—or at least in this village—called themselves Nectnets. Sam's thoughtful questions about a Stargate, a gate to other worlds, the chapa'ai remained unanswered. It truly seemed like the Nectnets had no idea what Sam and Jack where talking about, so they had kept their true identity to themselves. It appeared, the people here believed, just like people on Earth, to be the only ones out there. _Idiots_, Jack thought and took another sip of the local drink. It sent a warm rush through his veins and a spin into his head. He peered over to Carter who hardly could keep her eyes open. Gently he nudged her shoulder. "Let's get some rest."

They said their goodbyes to their hosts, and sleepy strolled towards their house. Jack opened the door and, in a quite unusual move, let her go in first, then let the door shut behind them. And alone, they were. Suddenly being alone, just him and her, felt more significant. In the intimacy of a house, surrounded by civilization, being alone with her had a different meaning. It was a choice now, not a circumstance. She stood in front of him, not sure what to do, clearly following the same path of thought as he was.

"That's better than the bare ground," he said as he sat down on the bed—only noticing now that it was just one bed.

Sam was still standing in the middle of the room.

"Get in here, Carter. I really can't sleep another night on the floor," he smiled, trying to relax the situation.

"Of course not."  
She climbed into the bed, and for some time they just lay next to each other. Listening to each other's breaths, which had calmed them down so many nights before.

"I can't believe we survived..." she whispered. Tears swell up in her voice. Carefully he reached for her hand.

"It just took a bit for your plan to work out. But I always knew it would."

"Mhm," she paused. "But if we don't find a Stargate…"

He turned to his side and looked at her, like a magnet pulling her body to turn too.

"We're gonna be fine... Actually, I'm starting to like it here," he said with a shy smile.

"At least they have beer, right?" she replied.

Silence spread for a second, and the tension between them grew tangible. He turned to his back and said into the darkness of the room, "That's just one of the reasons."


	5. New Beginnings

**Chapter 5 – New beginnings**

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c stood in the door frame to Daniel's office. It was seven in the morning, and Daniel was buried in books and papers. "Have you slept?"

Without even looking up, Daniel replied, "Yeah, a bit. I couldn't stop thinking about the Eyes."

"Did you find anything?"

For the first time, Daniel looked up. "Not really. But I found something else. In this paragraph, they are talking about a planet of endless youth and wisdom."

In classic Teal'c manner, the Jaffa lifted an eyebrow. By now, Daniel had perfected reading it. Each lift had different nuances and, therefore, different meanings. This one said, 'Go on, I'm interested.'

"I know this sounds a bit farfetched, but in mythology, there's this theory of the fountain of youth. And from all we know, mystical objects can be anything, so why not a planet." Daniel pushed his glasses up and continued, "If I'm translating this right, it's talking about a planet where Ra sent his children, and days later, they would come back as strong grown-ups ready to be hosts."

"This doesn't sound like endless youth," Teal'c pointed out.

"Yeah, it goes on, but the rest is illegible. I can only make out

single words: stargate, mothership, unchanged..."

"How does this information help rescue Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill? Or find the other Eyes or the weapon?"

Daniel let out a deep sigh and rubbed his eyes, "It doesn't, Teal'c."

Teal'c raised his eyebrow again. This time it said: stop wasting your time.

"Did you have breakfast yet?" Daniel jumped up and headed the way to the cafeteria.

Teal'c followed him without telling Daniel Jackson that he indeed had heard of such a planet. But he knew his friend too well; he would get carried away, and there was no time for this. They needed to focus on the more important mission of finding O'Neill and Major Carter. In 12 hours, they would send the MALP.

* * *

One hundred eighty earth days since they had left Anubis' ship and crashed on this planet, which the Nectnets called Tecma. For 105 days, they had survived in its wilderness, and 75 days had passed since they had found the Nectnets and joined their village life. All this summed up to almost half a year away from home. By now, they were sure: there was no Stargate. At least not according to the Nectnets and their allies. After a couple of weeks, they had decided to trust the Nectnet and had told them their true story. Surprisingly they had accepted it without a doubt and had sent messengers to all other villages—maybe someone else had a gate. But none came back with good news. Of course, Sam knew that if there was one, it could be anywhere on this planet. But what should they do? Spent the rest of their lives wandering and searching for it? They would have never found the second gate in Antarctica if it hadn't been for the gate malfunction. So, it wasn't that they had given up but instead come to terms that they would spend their lives here. And it wasn't a bad place. The Nectnets were friendly, yet simple people — mainly farmers and Sam and Jack had found their roles in this society.

Right now, Sam was fixing the simple generator she had built. The people were amazed by the things she could do to make their lives easier. And Sam enjoyed thinking and building things. Even when they were nothing compared to spaceships—they still had so much impact on the lives of the people here.

She wiped her oily hands into an old piece of fabric and started the generator. It purred like a kitten, and she decided she was done with work for the day.

She strolled back to their home, through small streets, past tiny stores, greeting people along the way—one of them Tomac. Sam rolled her eyes when she spotted the tall, muscular Nectnet. He was the commander of the Nectnets small defensive troop and, for obvious reasons, had declared Jack, his natural enemy. This town was too small for two alpha males—even though to O'Neill's credit, he was keeping a low profile. It seemed like he had actually retired. But maybe it wasn't so much about Jack being Jack that made Tomac dislike him and more the fact that the Nectnet had taken a fancy on Sam.

"Samantha, very good to see you."

Like in a cheesy Disney movie, he pulled out a single red flower and handed it to her with an extravagant gesture.

"Tomac," she took the flower with a flinch rather than a smile. "Thank you. But you know…"

"I know you are 'married.'"

_Interesting_, she thought, as he made quotation marks with his fingers,_ was that intergalactic?_

"Give me one night, and I will prove to you that I'm the better man for you."

Sam smiled and said, "I'm going home now, Tomac. You should ask Lira for a date—she has a thing for you."

Before he could answer, she stepped away and picked up her pace.

Minutes later, she arrived at their house that stood a bit apart from the others, right at a lake—actually just like she imagined O'Neill's cabin in Minnesota. Close to the woods, a blue lagoon, a big fireplace, a cozy wooden house. She walked around the house and like expected, found him sitting on the jetty.

"Got dinner yet?" Sam stepped next to him, took her shoes off, and sat down on the plank, her feet dangling over the edge, her toes playing with the water.

"Almost. And you? Invent anything today?" he said without sarcasm. Sam knew she had more to do here, but it seemed he was okay with that. His life here probably wasn't much different from how he had imagined spending his retirement.

"No, just fixed things."

He looked at her with a soft smile. Then, he spotted the flower and turned back to the water and the concentric circles that rippled around the fishing line.

"Tomac hitting on you again?"

She heard a little shift in his voice.

"He doesn't buy that we are married."

It was one of the things they hadn't clarified when they told the Nectnets their truth. Sam had never thought about why. But ever since they had arrived here and spent the first night holding hands, nothing else had happened between them. First, there was the excitement over the possibility of actually going home, and it was all they could think. Then there was grief about the realization that there was no Stargate. Both of them had needed some time for themselves to accept that fact. Sam had started building things, and Jack was going for long hikes. He never told her where he headed, but he always came back at the time he said he would be. After some weeks, they had come to terms with the situation. But until now hadn't figured out what to do with their situation. They were stuck in this limbo of not knowing how to act. Day after day, they treated each other less like Colonel and Major. Conversations, interactions were much friendlier, even flirty at times. Unintentional touches were acknowledged and enjoyed, and more often, they touched with intention. Innocently, yet it sent endorphins through their bodies. There was no bad conscience anymore. The rules were far away. They could do what was so obvious and yet...

"Listen, Carter, if you want to date that guy, go for it," he suddenly said, his voice cold.

It took her by surprise, and she looked at him with big eyes.

"It's not that we are actually married…"

Every word cut into her skin.

"What?"

"I get it, we all need…"

"Are you serious?" Anger was bubbling up—no anger was boiling over.

"It was just a lie to protect you. We can tell them..."

She cut him short. "Is that what you want? Me dating Tomac?"

_Had she gotten everything wrong?_

"I don't care as long as you are…"

"You don't care?"

Correction, she was furious.

"Carter… You know I want the best for you."

"That's it?"

He looked at her, frustrated and desperate and lost—so lost.

"What do you want me to say?"

"How about for once you just tell me what you really feel?"

He looked back at the water. Sam took a deep breath, collected all her courage, and said, "How do you feel about me? About us? Is there even an us?"

There it was. The pressing question. One that Sam had thought she knew the answer to. She had always thought they had feelings for each other, and the Air Force was the only thing keeping them apart. But now, with the Air Force not being in their way, was she right?  
He said nothing for a while, just looked at the water. When he turned back to her, his face was softer, but he still lost.

"Carter…"

"What are we waiting for? If this," she waved her hands awkwardly between them. "If this is what we both want, what are we waiting for? We won't be going back. This is our life now."

She looked at him full of expectations, but he just lowered his eyes. It cut right to her heart, took the air from her, and sent her blood whooshing through her brain, drowning out every other thought. Before her tears could blob out, she said in a hard voice, "I see."

She turned on her heels and left him at the jetty.

Jack bumped his head into the back of his chair and let out a sigh. _Fuck! _He rubbed his hands over his face, sighed again, then got up and followed her into the house.

The door to her room was closed. Jack paced up and down before he finally took heart—in the truest sense of the word—and raised his hand for a knock that lingered unanswered for a couple of minutes. Another knock and still no answer.

"Carter," he said softly. "I'm coming in." He waited for another second and then opened the door slowly.

She sat on her bed, not looking up. Jack was relieved to see that she wasn't crying. He didn't do well with crying—actually with any emotional situation in general.

"Carter…" His voice an earnest apology.

"Just leave me," she answered without looking at him.

He stepped closer and sat down next to her.

"Sorry, but I can't."

For a little while, they just sat there, staring dead ahead. Sam was trying not to think, and Jack trying to think about what to do next.

"I just wanna be back home," she broke through the silence with all so much sadness. "I just… just want this between us to be simple. Like before."

He turned to look at her. And then he put his heart on his tongue and said, "I don't."

Blue question marks forced him to continue. Without letting her eyes go, he said, "That might come surprising to you because, as you know, I'm pretty quick in understanding and solving all your astrophysical and intergalactic problems."

She smiled a small smile, but a smile and encouraged by it Jack continued, "But when it comes to things like this." He waved between him and her just like she had done before. "I'm pretty slow."

He looked at her with loving eyes that said so many things for him. And she understood and replied with another smile, not big either, but one that made his heart flick and startled goosebumps. They got lost in each other's eyes, but for the first time, they didn't feel lost anymore. More as if they had finally arrived. He dared a smile himself and then said the one and only O'Neill sentences that had the power to make everything better, "Come here."  
Though, this time, not for an embrace but for a kiss. Sam leaned a little closer, and gently Jack moved his trembling hand in her neck, and only in the very last second, they closed their eyes as their lips met for this kiss. A kiss that would blow the fuses and lightbulbs if either or had existed on this planet. But even without a dramatic light show, this kiss was something. Everything, to be exact. It was a promise. A _finally_. A commitment. An acceptance. A '_Thank god it feels as good as I thought it would.'_ An 'Even_ better than in the time loop.'_

When they separated to catch their breaths and read each other's eyes, they saw all of that in them.

While the first kiss had started so ever softly, the second one quickly picked up in pace and passion and wild longing and determined demand. His hands, her hands, everywhere. Clothes being pulled and torn and ripped. And finally, skin on skin. His fingertips were tracing over her body like ballpoints, leaving invisible 'I love you' over and over on her skin. Her body curved into the movements of his, and his body moved with the intention to wrap as much of her as possible. Her little purrs, her salty-sweet taste, her spicy-warm smell, her provoking touch—his senses were completely overtaken by her.

And then he sank into her.

Their bodies moved together as if they had never done anything else. Winding each other to the edge of their consciousness, pumping their breaths to orgasmic levels and then finally releasing into each other—letting go of everything they had held back for the longest time.

He pulled her tightly; she dug even closer. Their chests were bumping at each other, trying to get the air they hadn't needed before. She mapped paths on his back, gliding her fingers along his wet body. And all he could think was that he would follow her no matter where she would go.

A thing about Jack O'Neill: it often took him a long time to go for something, but once he did, there was no going back. And speaking of it, if this is what not going back would be, he was deeply contented with staying here—with her—in his arms—forever.

* * *

Good morning business in the SGC. Coffee smell in every corner, mixed with aftershaves and adrenaline. Adrenaline the only consistent scent, no matter pre-mission or after-mission or waiting-for-what-to-do-as-mission.

Teal'c walked into the infirmary. He was fine, but Dr. Fraiser had insisted on taking a look at his arm the next morning. So here he was.

"Good Morning Dr. Fraiser," he greeted the short woman.

"Good Morning, Teal'c. How do you feel?"

"Well."

"Your arm? Any tingly sensation, any numbness?"

"No."

"Good." She peeled off the bandage, and Teal'c raised his eyebrow—this one meant: ouch.

"It's a very deep burn Teal'c. It will need time. I'm sorry, but I can't clear you for the rescue Mission for Sam and the Colonel."

He nodded in acceptance.

She ummed and erred a bit before she finally nudged herself to ask a question, she knew she wasn't supposed to ask, and any soldier would not dare to speculate on, "Do you think they are still alive?"

Teal'c saw the worry on Janet's face.

"I hope so. I believe they are more valuable to Anubis alive than dead."  
"But we know he's a ruthless torturer."

"Indeed. And I have the highest trust in your skills, Dr. Fraiser. If they return harmed, you will heal them."

Janet gifted him a smile. "You're good to go."

When Teal'c stepped into the gateroom, he smelled something else but the usual. Fear mixed into that perfume of coffee, aftershave, and adrenaline.

SG3, the team that he owed his life too many times over, was all geared up and ready to go and rescue Sam and Jack in a mission that could cost their own lives. SG13 was coming into the gateroom, followed by Daniel—it was a helmet kind of day.

"Good Morning. Let's not sugarcoat this," General Hammond looked around seriously. "This is a high-risk mission. We're starting 10 hours early because the Tok'Ra have reported that Anubis ship has left. We assume that Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill are still either hiding on the ship or are captured by Anubis. But there's also the chance that they made it to the planet undetected but weren't able to get to the gate. From what we saw on the MALP before it was shot, we know the gate is heavily guarded. So going through will mean immediate danger."

Before General Hammond could continue, Major Wade stepped forward. "My men and I are willing to take the risk," he said underlined with determination. And SG3 and 13 nodded in equal commitment.

"Very well," Hammond continued. "Major Wade, you are in command. I trust your judgment to abort if necessary. We want you all to come back."  
SG3 and 13 looked like that was not an option.

"We will bring Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill back."

"I know, son. We'll await you back in 12 hours. Good luck."

As if it had waited for just this moment, the gate activated with a blue explosion. Two marines stepped closer to the event horizon and threw four grenades through the gate—that would buy them some time. SG3 and SG13 counted to ten and then stepped out into the galaxy. Before Daniel Jackson moved through, he turned around and looked back at Teal'c, who gave him a reassuring nod.

General Hammond, Jacob Carter, and Teal'c watch the event horizon crumble behind Daniel, then Jacob spoke the first word, "I'm going back to the Tok'Ra base to take a Tel'Tak to the planet's orbit. Maybe my sensors can locate Anubis' ship."

"I will accompany you, Jacob Carter."

"Teal'c," General Hammond interrupted. "You're not cleared for mission."

"Common George, we're just going for a ride. I'm not planning on getting into any battle."  
Hammond frowned—as if anything ever went according to plan.

"Alright. Stay out of trouble. If we can't find Sam and Jack on the planet, we'll need to come up with a new plan and get onto Anubis' ship. But Teal'c, I'm repeating myself, you're not cleared for a mission like this."

The men nodded, and Hammond gave Walter the signal to dial out.

"Good luck. Call us in 12 hours."

* * *

Sam woke up and found herself wrapped in Jack's arms. A feeling that was still so new. In the past fifteen days, she had met a new O'Neill. One that she called Jack now, or at least tried to. Colonel was okay. Just when the Sir slipped out it got awkward for a moment. But well, how quickly can you change something that has become your routine for the past four years?

She felt a soft kiss on her naked shoulder, and suddenly something growing against her back.

"Well, someone is awake."

His reply was more a grunt, as he dug his nose into her hair and moved his hands around her breasts. Then, with a quick, powerful move, he rolled over and lay on top of her. Sleepy eyes met sleepy eyes.

"Hey," he whispered and planted a kiss on her nose.

"Hey," she replied and kissed his lips.

"You hungry?"

She smiled with a tease in her eyes, "Kinda."

"Alright, breakfast a la O'Neill then," he said, as his lips moved closer and found hers for an arousing kiss.

* * *

Daniel stepped through the gate and into dense smoke. The grenades had done their duty; he spotted Jaffa parts around the gate. _Don't look; he_ told himself as he suppressed a gag-reflex. _And don't breathe either. _The smoke smelled like death, like burned flesh and hair. He had never imagined that this could be part of his everyday job. He call himself a pacifist, and while this was true when it came to what was going on earth, he now noticed what a hypocrite he was.

He saw Wade and SG3 go into cover and followed them. From behind a big rock, they saw them coming — hundreds of Anubis' supersoldiers. Alarmed by the grenade-explosion.

"Five minutes max," Wade shouted. "Jackson, dial us out."

"But," Daniel protested.

"We're nine. They are hundreds. We can't hold them back. We gotta get out."

Daniel knew it didn't make sense to protest. He didn't want anyone to get killed, and from what he had seen, it was hard to believe that Sam and Jack were still on this planet—all undetected. They would have tried to stay close to the gate, so they would have noticed either the MALP or the explosion. And since they weren't here, contrary to the supersoldiers, Daniel assumed Sam and Jack weren't here at all.

"The iris is open," Daniel shouted and stepped back through the gate, followed by the rest of the team. The second everyone had made it back to earth; the iris closed behind them. And again, they listened to dull drums of impact against their protective shield.

_At least this takes out some supersoldiers, _Daniel thought.

"You were only gone for five minutes. What happened?" General Hammond stepped into the gateroom.

"Hundreds of supersoldiers made a run for us. There was no way we could have stopped them," Major Wade explained.

"I glad your teams made it back. We'll debrief in an hour. Bevor, I have a phone call to make," General Hammond lead the way to the debrief room.

* * *

"Hey, Carter."

Sam was sitting in her workshop, so absorbed by her work on a doohickey that she didn't even hear him come in.

_Just like in the SGC, _Jack thought.

"Sir."  
_Just like in the SGC._

"I mean, Jack," she laughed. "I'm gonna get it out of the system, I promise."

"You know the punishment for every Sir."

"Yeah, I do," she said cheekily.

"So, go on, call me Sir."

He leaned forward for a kiss, which she responded eagerly.

Suddenly a sound came from the door, and when they moved apart, they found Tomac standing in the door frame, looking at them with surprise.

"Tomac," Sam said, getting up only to feel Jack's hand wrap around her shoulders. She was his now, and he was marking his territory, once for all.

"Tomac, what can we do for you? Need a new generator? Or a toaster? Electric toothbrush? Maybe an MP3 player? Sam can probably even build a Gameboy."

He felt Sam's elbow in his rips and smiled at her.

"You are married," Tomac declared.

"Well, actually no," Jack said. "But in love."

This one took Sam by surprise—not Tomac, who nodded swiftly and turned around without a greeting, while she looked at Jack with big eyes. It wasn't a surprising revelation. They've been together for four months, had feelings for much longer. But ever since that conversation in the beginning, they had never talked about their relationship.

"What?" he looked at her as if he was reading her thoughts.

She didn't know what to say, only that she wanted to hear it again — directed to her and not a general statement. And again, it seemed like Jack was reading her thoughts. Taking a deep breath, building up the courage to say the words that allowed no return, Jack locked her eyes then said, "I love you, Samantha Carter."

Before she could say it back, he sealed her lips with a kiss. So soft, so gentle, so true to his words. And so afraid of the dooming silence when she wouldn't say something. This time it was Sam who read his thoughts. She ended the kiss and slightly pushed him away.

"I love you, Jack." It wasn't just a response but a truly committed statement.

* * *

"So, you assume the Colonel and Major are not on PX768?" General Hammond looked at Major Wade and Daniel Jackson, who were both sitting in the briefing room.

"It's a guess, but no. Either they are on Anubis ship—free or as prisoners, or they are hiding out far from the gate. There are too many Jaffa's; they would have found them by now if they stayed close to the gate."  
General Hammond agreed to Wade's logic.

_Just what to do now? Hunting for a mothership that was somewhere in the universe?_

"Very well. We'll have to wait until we hear back from Jacob and Teal'c. Maybe they can find out where Anubis is. You're dismissed."

The men got up and left the room. Only Daniel stayed back.

"Dr. Jackson?"

"I guess I'm going to try to find out more about the eyes. Maybe Anubis is headed to find the others, and if we know where he's going, we can go there to get Sam and Jack."

"Sounds like a good plan, Dr. Jackson."

But Daniel didn't move.

"Anything else, Dr. Jackson?"

"The phone call... you're not declaring them…"

"No, but they are officially missing in action."

"Understand…"

"Let's see what Teal'c and Jacob can find out."

* * *

12 months. An entire year. Gone. Away from flushing toilets, away from hockey on TV, away from coffee. But also, away from rules and regulations that would make this very moment so very wrong. This moment in which he traced along her silhouette. Starting at her lips, along her chin, down her neck, over her collarbone, her breast, the ripples of her ribcage, into her bellybutton, through her soft, blond hair, into her warm, moist fold. She gasped as his finger landed. Her eyes fluttered open and immediately closed again when he leaned forward and kissed her. First softly, but her lips wanted more, tugging gently on his. Immediately there's only one goal taking over his entire body—and this goal was her. But before they went too far, he stopped. He needed to say something. Jack grabbed her head with both hands and leaned his forehead on hers. Expectations in her eyes. What now?

"I want you to understand why it took me so long to allow this to happen. Last time I felt this way…"

She thought he would talk about Sarah. But he wouldn't go there. Not yet.

"Last time I felt this happiness, it was taken from me. And I had a hard time dealing with it."  
She didn't know what he meant. How should she? He was lofty.

"The last time I felt this." Again this wave between him and her. "Was when we're on P3R-118. When we weren't Sam and Jack but Therra and Jonah."

A hot wave rushed through her body as she thought back to the time underground. To their first kiss, their first being together. She remembered how she felt when they went back—and back to normal.

"I wasn't good. From the moment I remembered who I was and what that meant about my feelings for you, I wasn't good."

Sam was startled. He had never talked so freely about his feelings, and she was surprised how easy it came out. No hesitations, no holding back. Just pure Jack.

"When we crashed here, and all these things between us happened, and I pushed you back," he paused for a moment, grabbed her hand as if to apologize. "I just couldn't stand the thought of having you, and then we find a way back, and it's taken from me—again."

She swallowed hard.

"I can't lose you again, Sam."

A single tear sneaked its way out of the corner of her eye and slowly rolled along her cheek before his thumb caught it and gently brushed it away. He pulled her closer, dug his nose into the curve of her neck, and took a deep breath of her. Gently she pushed him away, to look into his eyes.

"Even if we ever go back, nothing's gonna change what is between us."

* * *

Two quiet fellows alone on a ship. After four hours of absolute silence, even Teal'c felt the urge to start a conversation. For the first time, he understood Daniel's or Sam's need to talk. He didn't know what he and Jacob should talk about. So he tried Sam's approach, he was talking to her dad after all.

"How are you?"

Jacob squinted and turned to his travel companion.

"What?"

"I asked: how are you?"

"Yeah, but why?"

"Isn't this a tau'ri way of starting a conversation?"

Jacob smiled.

"It is. Guess I forgot how to be an earthling. Well, I was never really good at it."

"They talk a lot."

Jacob started laughing. "Sam can chew your ear off."

Teal'c looked confused.

"Just a phrase. She can talk a lot."

"Indeed."

And then the conversation ended. Both were staring out into the galaxy, feeling comfortable with this silence. They wouldn't need to talk for the next eight hours unless the sensors would pick up Anubis ship or for the planned contact with the SGC.

* * *

The wooden planks creaked under his footsteps. He was good at sneaking up on enemies, and Sarah had hated him for this skill. But here, in this house, with those floors, his talent was useless. Besides, Sam was a soldier herself. But when he opened the door to their bedroom, she was still asleep. He looked at her and felt a sense of pride raise in him. She felt safe with him, had let all her guards down. Not the soldier anymore, just the woman he loved. And whose birthday it was. The second one on Tecma. They had celebrated the first one weeks after their arrival in this town. This birthday though, was a special one—the first one as his girlfriend. He flinched by the sound of that thought, girlfriend. _Was he 16? _

A movement in the sheets caught his attention, and he watched Sam roll around and flutter her eyes open. Surprised, they looked at him. "Do I smell..."

Jack interrupted her, "Coffee, yep."

He sat down beside her, holding a cup with the black liquid she had missed so much. He kissed her on the forehead.

"Happy Birthday."

Gushingly she wrapped her hands around his neck, almost knocking the cup out of his hands.

"Careful, that's all we've got."

She took the cup and then a sip that would make every coffee commercial proud.

"This is the best present ever." She beamed.

"Found a coffee plant not far from town."

Last month he had become a secret coffee farmer. After discovering the plant, he had decided that this should be her birthday present. When she went to work, he went to farm. Planting seedlings, tending the plants, harvesting the cherries, drying the beans, roasting and grinding it—and finally, today brewing the first cup.

"Thank you so much."

He smiled. Making her happy made him happy.

"Oh, I've got one more thing."

He dug into his pockets and pulled out a small box. It almost looked like...

_Oh._

_Oh!_

He handed her the little box, and with a suddenly pacing heartbeat, Sam took it. She looked at him; he seemed so calm and gave her a nod. S inhaled silently and opened the box. 10 bullets—definitely melted down and formed by hand. She looked and smiled at him—half relief half something else. _Common Sam._

* * *

He had totally lost track of time. Reading through books and papers to find any hints about the whereabouts of the remaining eyes and by this, where Anubis might be headed and by this, where they could maybe find Sam and Jack. Now he was running through the tunnels of the SGC towards the control room. Teal'c and Jacob were already talking to General Hammond when Daniel stormed in. He only heard the end of Jacob's sentence, "...where his ship is."

"Could you extend the radius of your search?" General Hammond asked.

"In theory, yes, but it would take us weeks, months probably."

Daniel looked at General Hammond, who shook his head, disappointment written all over his face.

"I think it's best when we come back."

_Are we giving up?_ Daniel thought, but he bit his lip. It was Sam's dad who was talking after all.

"Alright, Jacob. Have a good journey. When can we expect you back on earth?"

"We'll give it 12 more hours, so we should be back in 36 hours," Jacob's voice came out of the speakers and Daniel wasn't sure if it was the distance or something else that made his voice unsteady.

"All right. See you both back here in 36 hours. Over and out."

_Where could they be?_

* * *

Two years on the day. At least if they had counted correctly, two years gone. Two years living on a new planet. Two years without friends and family. Without stepping through the gate. One and a half years living a new life—together. A life that had been unthinkable back then. And even though she missed the adventures with SG1, she loved their life together. Thinking back about all the moments they had shared, how close they had become, how unimaginable it was to her that this wouldn't have happened if they hadn't gone on that mission, and everything had happened exactly the way it had.

Sam looked at his dark shadow, standing at the lake, staring into the stars. Somewhere there was home, and while they still thought about it from time to time, she wondered if earth still thought about them. She wondered how the memorial service had been if Marc had come? Sarah? Who was SG1 now? Was Daniel still apart of the SGC and Teal'C? So many questions that probably would stay unanswered. But she had made peace with that. In some way, it was the best thing that had ever happened to her. Such a big, wonderful change. She smiled. Another change would come. She flicked her jacket over her shoulders and stepped outside.

Jack was standing on the jetty, looking into the night sky. None of the star constellations seemed familiar. Well, by now, they did, but none of them looked like the stars he would see from his roof back home on earth. He heard her steps and felt her presence right next to him. Not touching but still feeling her. He closed his eyes for a second, enjoying the quietness they shared. Then he heard Sam say quietly, "Two years."

There was a sense of melancholia in her voice.

"Two good years," he replied and reached for her hand.

"Yeah…"

They turned silent again. Listing to the sad songs of the crickets or whatever insect it was out here. He felt her fingers play with his, something she did when she was nervous.

"Would you be ready for a little change?" her voice tense, but excited.

He turned to her. His heart lunged when he saw the expression on her face. And then her hand pulled his towards her and gently placed it on her belly. First, he didn't know—W_hat? Wait, WHAT? _His thoughts screamed.

She smiled a big, wide Carter smile, while his eyes jumped from her belly to her eyes and back and forth again. Then he settled on her eyes, and she nodded.

* * *

"How's your arm?" Daniel asked.

"I believe this bandage is of no need anymore," Teal'c replied. He had come back from his excursion with Jacob only hours ago. By now, Sam and Jack were gone for three days. And they had no idea where they were. Their best guest was Anubis ship, but well, they didn't know where that was either.

"The Asgards finally got back to us. They are looking for Anubis ship but said they need to do it secretly; otherwise, they are breaking their agreement. And that wouldn't be good," Daniel filled Teal'c in.

"We'll have to wait until we find out where Anubis is," Teal'c answered.

"We can't just wait around."

"What do you suggest, Daniel Jackson?"

"I don't know. I wish Sam were here; she always found a way to bring him back."  
"Indeed."

"Do you remember when she worked three months non-stop to build that laser?"

"Indeed."

There was the eyebrow again. This time Daniel wasn't sure what it was supposed to mean, "Teal'c?"

"Yes?"

"It seems like there's something you're not telling me." Daniel's curiosity was sparkling.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Daniel Jackson."  
"So…"

"Yes."

Daniel stared at Teal'c, trying to tickle what he thought was there, out of him. But no one won a staring contest with Teal'c, so he gave up.

"What do we do now?" Daniel asked.

"Search for the other eyes."

_More reading..._

* * *

The coffee plant hung full of red, ripe cherries, and Jack picked on after the other. Since Sam was pregnant, she wasn't drinking coffee anymore, but she still loved the smell. He remembered how Sarah had hated it while she was pregnant with Charlie. _Charlie. _Back then, he had promised himself never to have children again. But back then, he had been a different man. Broken, lost, so angry. The Stargate-Mission and Sam had given him a new will to live. And now he couldn't wait for the baby to be here. He would teach him or her hockey, that was for sure.

He stuffed some more berries in his pouch when suddenly heavy vibrations traveled through the ground. Jack looked around, and his eyes stopped at the straight wall of rock. Something was weird. Slowly he moved towards the rock and put his hands on the smooth surface. He had never noticed this odd geological construct. He felt another vibration, and suddenly with a loud bang stone exploded in all directions, and Jack jumped behind a big rock for cover. After the dust had settled, Jack peeked out from behind his cover. His breath stopped, and his heart galloped away.

There it was.

A Stargate.

And a Jaffa was coming through.


	6. Home sweet home

**Chapter 6 – Home sweet home**

"Sam!"

Jack was storming towards their house with his hand still tightly wrapped around his gun.

"Sam!" Shouting from far away.

There she was. Stepping out of the house, her now long hair falling in gentle waves over her shoulders, the linen dress wrapping around her body, revealing that lovely bump.

"What's up?"

He stopped and looked at her—the light coming from behind illuminated her, adding to her natural glow.

_Oh, she was beautiful._

"Jack?"

_Everything would change, _he thought. But he wouldn't allow it to change. This—them, would not change. Not because of some filthy Jaffa and not because they could go back home.

"Jack, what's going on," inquiring now. Her glance fell on the gun in his hand and then wandered back to his face. She knew that face all too well. And this one looked like the man he had left behind—the Colonel hardness back.

"Colonel?" she said with a shaky voice. Something was going to change.

Exhaling deeply he said, "There's a Stargate."

In disbelief, Jack had stared at the rippling blue event horizon before his military reflexes had kicked in, and he had shot the four Jaffa with well-aimed shots. Before the gate shut off, he was already pulling them into the greenery. When he looked up, Tomac was there.

"O'Neill, what is this?"

"This," he pointed at the gate. "Is the Stargate Carter and I have been looking for. And now bad guys are coming through."  
He disarmed the Jaffa and handed Tomac one of the staff weapons, then pointed at the rest. "Take those weapons, arm your men, bring your people to a safe place, then defend the gate. We'll go to earth and come back with reinforcement."

It was as if this incident and immediate danger had washed away Tomac's doubt about O'Neill. He nodded, grabbed the weapons, and raced back to town.

"What?" Sam couldn't believe it.

"It must have been sealed or buried in the rock. Over by the coffee plants. It just exploded out of the mountain, and four Jaffa came through."

First, she was paralyzed. Thoughts were rushing through her head like a Ferrari on the Autobahn. But as soon as he mentioned the Jaffa, she was Major Carter again. Functioning the way, she had trained her entire life.

"Jaffa?"

"Anubis. I took them out, but I bet there will be more coming."

"What do they want?"  
"I have no idea, but once they find us, we're in trouble."

"Maybe there's an eye on this planet?" Sam wondered, jumping right back into the mission that had gotten them here in the first place. "Or even the weapon itself."

"Maybe. We need to dial earth, get reinforcement," he said, gathering all the earth things they still possessed. He pushed the G.D.O. in her hands.

"Let's go."

The military would have been proud. Neither Sam or Jack wasted a second to think about their relationship, about what would happen to them as soon as they stepped through the gate. All they could think of was the danger to the people here and their bigger mission: prevent Anubis from getting the weapon. Only while they were sprinting to the gate, and Carter was not like usually right behind him, Jack realized that undeniably something was different now. He turned around: Running, tightly holding her 8-month big bump. He moved back towards her and grabbed her arm, "Sorry."  
She smiled. "It's okay. It's not that I was ever pregnant on a mission before."

When they reached the gate, Sam stopped and stared at the grey ring. There it was. Almost three years later, it suddenly appeared. How could they go back? Everything had changed.

"There's no DHD, but it seems the Goa'Ulds knew that," Jack pointed at a small box one of the Jaffa had carried. "Think you can figure it out?"

Sam was already on it. It seemed to be some sort naquadah-reactor built to connect to the gate. Jack was nervous, how long would it take for the next round of Jaffa to follow. Once Anubis opened the gate, they would be cut off. But it only took Sam minutes to get the device going.

"Got it," Sam triumphed, and a second later, the gate started to rotate and dial home.

"Our iris code will be inactive. We'll have to send them a message."

She stepped next to Jack and watched one chiffon after the lock. Finally, the so familiar symbol that meant home locked in, and the blue swoosh exploded towards them. Sam pressed the keys on the G.O.D. and then looked to Jack.

"What did you text?" he asked.

"Hey Campers, send MALP."

He smiled. "That will do."

She smiled, but he saw the uncertainty in her eyes. They said: _What now? _He pulled her into his arms and dug his nose into her hair, pressing a kiss on her head.

"I love you, Sam. Nothing is going to change that."

"I love you too."

Even though they both meant it from all their hearts, they both felt a slight doubt. Some things would change.

* * *

UNAUTHORIZED ACTIVATION FROM OUTSIDE! And Daniel sprinted off. _A lot of running lately,_ he thought. When he arrived in the control room, Hammond was already there. Seconds later, the gate established with a swoosh against the iris. They both stared at the flickering light.

"We have an iris code, Sir. It's Major Carter."  
Daniel's heart jumped a little, and from the corner of his eye, he saw a quick smile on Hammond's face.

"Open the iris."

"She sent a message, Sir."

Hammond sounded surprised, "What does it say?"

"Hey Campers, send MALP." Daniel read out loud. "That's them. Why are they not coming through?"

"I don't know Dr. Jackson," then General Hammond turned to Siler, "Get a MALP ready."

* * *

"What is taking them so long?" Jack was pacing up and down. It had been two hours since they sent the message. He looked over to Sam, who was sitting on a rock. Tomac and the other men were standing close by, playing around with the Jaffa weapon. It annoyed Jack, but what could he do? At least, no more Jaffa had come through—for now.

"I don't know. Usually, there's always a MALP in the gateroom. It should take them 10 minutes max."

Just as she finished her sentence, the gate started to rotate, and everyone tensed. With fear in his eyes, Tomac looked at the ring.

"Get cover. It might be our people, but it might be the Goa'Uld," Jack commanded.

Banned, they looked at the blue surface. How long could they actually hold Anubis' Jaffa back? Not long, Jack knew. But to everyone's relief, no Jaffa but the little MALP wobbled through.

_Hey old friend,_ Jack thought and stepped closer.

* * *

The black screen suddenly lit up and revealed the faces of Sam and Jack. Daniel took a double-take. They both looked tanned and quite recuperated. Jack's chin was covered in a full beard— way to full for three days without a shave. And Sam. Her hair was long. Like really long. _Something's weird, _Daniel thought.

"Major, Colonel! It's good to see you alive and well."

"Yeah, we do what we can, General."

"Why didn't you come through?"

"We weren't sure you'd believe it's us."

"Right. Well, it looks like it's you."

_Almost, _Daniel thought.

"Yes, Sir. But we've got a little problem here. The planet we're stranded on had no gate. Well, at least not until today. It must have been buried. Anyways... Anubis' Jaffa came through earlier. We killed them, but you know, there's more where they come from. We need back up."

"Understand Colonel. SG3 is all geared up and ready to go. But I need you two to come back. Major Wade will hold the gate."

Daniel watched as Sam and Jack exchanged a glance. He knew them well. He knew how they acted towards each other. There had always been a special connection between them, but this glance felt different.

"Sir, we…"

"Jack, you've been one a Goa'Uld ship," General Hammond interrupted him. "We thought Anubis captured you. We need to make sure you're not compromised."  
Jack's eyebrow wandered upwards, and if the transmission didn't alter the reality, Daniel thought Sam was blushing.

"Yes, Sir. Send SG3 and Carter, and I will come right through. O'Neill out."

Jack and Sam turned away from the camera, and for a split-second, Daniel spotted Sam's bump.

_Did she? Was she? No way. That was impossible. _

General Hammond turned to Major Wade.

"Major, you're good to go. Hold the gate. Maybe there's another eye on this planet or even the weapon itself. We can't allow Anubis to get his hands on it."

Major Wade nodded.

"And send O'Neill and Carter back," General Hammond added. Knowing all so well that SG1 wasn't, well, let's say: always interpreting orders the way they were meant to.  
"Yes, Sir." Major Wade walked into the gateroom, did this little finger swirl Daniel had seen Jack do too. He still didn't know if it meant.

"Let's go, people. We've got some Goa'Uld asses to kick," Major Wade said to his team and lead the way through the gate.

A blink of a second later, they stepped out on the other side on the lush, rural planet. Major Wade immediately spotted a group of men holding staff weapons. They looked like locals that O'Neill probably had equipped to help fight the Jaffa. His glance wandered and found the Colonel.

_Wow, Jack's facial hair grew quickly._

"Major, thanks for coming over," O'Neill greeted Wade.

Major Wade peeked over Jack's shoulder and spotted Major Carter. Her hair long and her belly round.

"What happened?" Wade asked, unable to take his eyes from Carter's pregnant belly.

"Long story, but in short: we escaped from Anubis ship with a glider and then crashed here. Didn't find the gate until today," Jack explained while Sam stepped closer to the two men.

"Major Carter," he peeked at her belly and followed up with a shy, "Ma'm."

Sam rolled her eyes. _Great start._

"But," Major Wade stammered, _how to say this right?_ "I mean, what happened?" His eyes were pointing to her bump again.

Jack slapped him friendly on the shoulder and said, "Oh, common Wade, you know how these things work. Let's go; I'll introduce you to the local 'army' here."

Sam blushed and sighed—this was going to be fun.

Tomac and Wade were getting along well from the get-go. Much better than the Colonel and Tomac had. Sam was inspecting the gate dial device the Jaffa had brought. An exciting piece of technology. It almost looked like it would allow for cutting off an incoming wormhole. That would be big news.

"Carter, home sweet home is waiting," Jack was coming towards her and reached out to help her get up.

"All good?" he looked intensely into her eyes, and she nodded.

"It's gonna be awkward."

"Yeah, but so what?!" He stepped a little closer and noticed her eyes jump to SG3, standing a further back.

"It doesn't matter what those boobs think." And if to underline what he said, he held her hand a little longer and gave it a squeeze. Sam could feel the eyes of SG3 on them, but he was right—it didn't matter. She wouldn't be able to work for the next few months anyway — enough time to figure it out.

Behind them, the gate established with a whoosh. They looked at each other one last time, and Jack said, "Nothing is going to change. I promise."

She smiled back at him, and they took a simultaneous deep breath and stepped into the blue on Tecma and out of it in the gateroom hundreds of feet underground on earth.

Daniel and General Hammond were waiting for them in front of the gate.

„Colonel O'Neill, Major Carter. Welcome home," General Hammond said.

"I kinda expected a little welcome party," Jack said.

Daniel took a step towards his friend and replied, "You never threw me one, either."

Daniel looked at Jack and noticed that something was off. Jack's beard was gone. He looked over to Sam, who was just a few steps behind Jack. Her long hair was short again—just like it had looked when they separated three days ago and not like it had looked on the MALP only minutes ago. Suddenly he noticed a change in her face. Panic. Fear. Confusion. An expression that stopped his heart and made him feel sick.

"Sam, are you okay?" Daniel asked.

Jack swirled around, and the moment Jack looked at Sam, Daniel felt how Jack tensed. With a quick step, Jack was next to her, and Daniel could see the horror in Jack's eyes.

"Carter?" Jack's voice sounded shaky, full of panic.

"What… where?"

It seemed like he didn't dare to end his thought.

"I don't know," she whimpered. Her face pale, her breath hectic, her hands hovering over her stomach—as if she was holding onto something that was gone.

"It's gone…" she said, and the next moment her eyes rolled back, and she collapsed into Jack's arms. Daniel saw the absolute fear in Jack's face as he held her gently. Almost inaudibly, he said her name over and over again.

_Oh my god, _Daniel thought_, he had been right_.


	7. Home sweet home?

**Thanks for all your comments and follows and likes. It's so much fun to write for you guys.**

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Home sweet home?**

Jack was pulled back from Sam, and like in a trance, watched Janet feel for her pulse. Sounds, images, everything just flickered past him as if he was frozen in slow motion.

_Their baby was gone._

It was the only thought that his mind was capable of forming.

"Colonel, what happened?" Echoed from a far distance but it didn't arrive.

"Jack?!"

It might have been Daniel's voice. It might have been not. He didn't know; he didn't care. Sam was lifted onto a stretcher, her arm slipping off. Dangling lifelessly. He wanted to hold it, to look into her face. But he couldn't move.

"Colonel O'Neill!"

There was something in this voice that broke through his numbness. Authority and the routine to follow what it said. Jack blinked.

"Colonel!"

There it was again. This time it hooked him and pulled him out of the slow-motion he was trapped in, just like he would pull a fish out of the waters of the lake behind their house.

Jack blinked again and then turned to the source of this voice and looked into General Hammond's face.

"Jack?" Hammond said, clearly worried.

Jack looked around. Carter was lying on the stretcher, her hand still dangling from it. He took a step towards her, gently lifted her hand and put it next to her. Her skin felt cold, her face was pale, but he saw the chest rose and fell in a steady movement. Then his eyes wandered to her belly, and with a heavy heart noticed: it was gone. He looked to Janet, who stared at him with many questions in her eyes. Just like the entire gateroom. Marines, medical team, Walter, Siler, Daniel, Hammond, all staring at him, itching to learn what was going on. He pressed his palms onto his face.

He had known that this wasn't going to be easy. Walking in here three years later, so above and beyond any rules that mattered here, and all of this manifested in her body. But now, she wasn't pregnant anymore. Apparently. Now, there was even more to explain. And Hammond demanded it.

"Colonel. What is going on?"

Jack flinched.

"Not here," he growled.

Hammond understood, "Let's go to my office."

Before Jack followed the General, he turned to Sam and looked at her face.

"She's in shock," Janet said to him, then turned to the nurse, "Let's get her to the infirmary. Run the usual tests; I'll be there in a minute."

Jack walked by Sam's side while the nurse pushed her out of the gateroom. Without anyone noticing, he grabbed her hand and squeezed it softly. Then let go and walked up the stairs to Hammond's office. Daniel was right behind him, but before he could enter Hammond's office, Jack turned around—his face twisted in all sorts of emotions: concern, pain, anger, worry.

"Daniel," he paused, and Daniel saw his brain working on getting the right words out. "Could you stay with Carter?" he paused again. "I… I don't want her to wake up alone."

There was something so sincere, so loving in the way he said it, it let Daniel's heart drop. He didn't understand it all, but he knew something had happened, and it had nothing to do with Anubis or the Stargate program altogether.  
"I'll tell you everything later," Jack added.

Daniel nod, trying to send his friend some comfort. "Um, sure, Jack. I'll take care of her."

Jack gave him a thankful nod and closed Hammond's door behind him.

Hammond was sitting behind his desk, Janet standing in the room, both staring at him with expectations. He took a deep breath and started to tell their story of how they had escaped with the glider and crashed on the planet. How they had survived in the wilderness for months and finally had found the Nectnets. How they had realized that there was no Stargate on this planet and had started to integrate into the Nectnet's society. Then he stopped. The next chapter was the private part of the story. He trusted Hammond, and he was sure Janet sensed that there always had been something more than the allowed between him and Sam. But well, he didn't talk about feelings and now doing it at work? And while his thoughts wandered this way, he noticed the confused expression on Hammond's and Janet's faces.

"Colonel, how long do you think you were you gone?" General Hammond asked carefully.

"Well, Carter said the planet is larger than earth, so 24 hours there are not 24 hours here, somehow…" he rubbed his forehead and decided it wasn't essential right now. "Almost three years."

He looked into two astonished faces. Hammond and Fraiser slowly looked at each other, as if they didn't know how to reply. It felt like their time was passing slower than his time. And when, after what felt like an eternity, they finally recovered, General Hammond said, "Jack, you've been gone for three days."

Now it was Jack's turn to be startled and look surprised. But there wasn't much time for it. An alarm rang through the complex, indicating that the gate was being activated from outside.

Hammond rushed to the control room, but Janet held Jack back, "Colonel, I need to know what's wrong with Sam."

She was shocked to see his face turn so sad. He let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Carter… Sam was pregnant. Eight months. But since we're back here… she's not anymore."

Janet didn't do a good job hiding her surprise, her questions, her wonder.

"We were gone for three years," he added, trying to justify their actions. "We didn't think we would ever come back."

She had never seen him so helpless, so she did something very unusual: she reached for him and gently patted his arm.

"I understand Jack. I really do," and then she added.

He gave her a sad smile and walked to the control room, leaving Janet with even more questions behind.

_Well, Sam would know how to answer. Or medicine would._

At a smart pace, she headed to the infirmary, where she found Daniel sitting next to Sam's bed. She was awake, and the moment she looked at her, Janet knew that the Colonel had told her the truth. How was all that possible? She had no idea. But they had encountered many strange things in the past. For all, she knew this could be another one of those.

"Janet?" Sam said with an unsteady voice.

Janet stepped closer to the bed and smiled at her warmly.

"I know Sam, he told me." She turned to Daniel, "Daniel, could you give us a second. I'll have to take a look at Sam."

For the second time today, Daniel was told to leave when it got the most interesting. But what could he say? So he got up, smiled at Sam and decided to find Jack and take him up on that 'I'll tell you later' promise.

"He told you everything?" Sam asked after Daniel had left the room.

"Well, he told us about your escape and the time on the planet. And he told me that you were pregnant when you left…"

"And you assume…" Sam hesitated.

"Am I wrong?"

Sam let out a sigh and wondered if all of that would have been easier if she still would be pregnant.

"No."

A nurse came in and handed Janet Sam's file. Janet looked through it carefully. "I think we'll need to make some more tests, but from what I can see here," she paused and looked at Sam's sad face. "I'm sorry Sam, there's no evidence that you've been pregnant."

Sam sunk back into the bed and closed her eyes. How was this even possible. _Well, scratch that. _They had traveled through time, into parallel universes, been trapped in galactic clouds, and many other things. So this was just another abnormality in space. Just why?  
"Sam, how long have been gone for?" Janet needed to hear it again.  
"Something around three years there, I guess longer here. Given that Tecma is much bigger than earth and therefore…"

"That might be it," Janet interrupted her. "That might be the reason for what happened."

"What?" Sam asked, confused.

"Sam, you've only been gone for three days."

* * *

General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill were sitting in Hammond's office. Both were hanging in their thoughts. SG3 had just come back through the gate. Declaring that they had been cut off and stranded on Tecma for 15 days. Fifteen days, while hardly an hour had passed since Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill had returned to earth. Another troop of Jaffa had come through the gate, and even though SG13 had beat them, the portable DHD had been damaged, and it had taken them a week to get it back on and running.

"So… three years?" General Hammond broke through the silence. He felt a headache and somehow feared it would only get worse once he heard the whole story—let alone find out what was wrong with Major Carter.

"Three years," Jack repeated, confirming, not knowing what to say next.

"That's a long time gone home from Jack."

"Jep…"

"Missed it?"

"Of course." Oh yes, he had missed it. No illusion that life on earth was so much better and more comfortable than on Tecma. But he had found a new life there, one that he didn't want to lose now. "But it had its good parts."

"I see…"

"General…" Jack started.

"Call me George; I have the slight feeling this isn't a conversation for a General and his second in command."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Perhaps."

"Why don't you start telling me what's wrong with Major Carter?"

"Well, George. In that case, I might have to start a bit earlier."  
So he told him the story. Of how they had just lived parallel lives for a while but eventually had discovered their feelings—he didn't feel it was necessary to tell him that those feelings had been there long before. He told him that they had accepted the fact that they wouldn't ever go back, given there was no gate, and they had no idea where in the galaxy they even were. So they had started a romantic relationship. General Hammond had listened quietly. His face neutral— the perfect listener.

Jack's recap came to the part he still didn't understand.

"The moment before we stepped through the gate…", Jack flinched. He still hadn't seen her, talked to her. He didn't even know what exactly was going on. All he knew was that he didn't want to hide it. He loved her. They had been a couple for over two years. And he had promised her that nothing would change. He hadn't been able to keep that promise entirely, but at least he could do his best.

"Before we stepped through the gate and the past eight months, Carter… Sam was pregnant. And since we're back here, she's not anymore."

General Hammond didn't know what to say. If what the Colonel just told him was true, he had just lost his second child. Hammond could only imagine how hard that must have been for Jack.

"And you are…" he didn't want to ask this question he knew the answer to already.

"Yes." Short, yet saying it all.

"Jack, I'm… I'm sorry." He could jump into the General role now, thinking about the implications this had for Jack and Sam, for SG1, him, the entire Stargate program. But instead, he followed his human instincts.

"Yeah," Jack looked to his knees. Only now noticing that he was still wearing the linen clothes from Tecma. He felt the sadness crawl up in him, but he couldn't give in on it here and now. So he went back to his military default, which so often had helped him cut off feelings.

"What are we doing with Tecma and Anubis? We can't just let the people deal with him. We survived because of them."  
"I understand, Jack. Yet, I'm not willing to send someone back and have them trapped in yet another timezone. According to Major Wade, the people have retreated to the mountains and will be safe there for now."  
"What if the weapon is there?"

"We'll monitor the activity, that's all we can do for now."

Jack wasn't happy with this. He had promised Tomac they would come back and help them defend their home, that had welcomed him and Sam so willingly. And he didn't intend on letting the Nectnets down. But now there's was something more substantial.

"George, I'd like to go and see Carter."

Hammond nodded but held him back before he could leave. "This is a very unusual situation, and I will do my best to find a good solution for it. But for now, I would like to ask you to keep it private."

"Of course, Sir."

* * *

How many times had he seen her likes this? In this white gown, in the white bed, asleep. Every time she got injured, he came here. Right before the debrief and then after it, waiting for her to wake up. To look into those blue eyes again and see in them that everything was going to be okay. Over the years, the urge to hold her hand, brush a hair out of her face, or wrap his arms around her had gotten more intense. But every year, he had gotten better in fighting it. Only sometimes, he couldn't hold back. Maybe push his fingers to hers. Now, he could suddenly do all of it. He quickly looked around and found that no one else was here. But still, something held him back. Here on earth, he was aware of every action and every consequence that could come with it. Here on earth, it was as if they were taken back three years. Well, actually, that was the case. And somehow it made him wonder if it had happened at all. Three days instead of three years and she wasn't pregnant anymore. It almost seemed it had been a long, wild dream. While he studied her face, he noticed a flicker on her eyelids, a crumble on her forehead, and then he looked into his favorite color.

"Hey," he said softly, still standing at the end of her bed.

"Hey," she answered with a very faint smile.

Usually, he would have pulled a chair closer and sit next to her with some distance. Not today. Today he stepped closer and sat next to her on her bed. Reaching for her hand and wrapping it with both of his.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered, and a single tear rolled out of her so sad eyes. This moment he knew, everything was terrible right now, but it would be good. This between them would be good. He pulled her up and wrapped his arms around her, pressing her head into his chest, burying his face in her hair. "Me too, Sam. Me too. I promised you nothing would change…"

She pushed him back slightly and locked his eyes.

"You couldn't possibly have prevented this."

"I know… Just believe me: nothing else is going to change. Between us, I mean," Jack said, but suddenly there was an uncertainty in him. "If you still want this," he waved his hands between him and her.

She smiled softly. Memories were flashing over her by the sight of this movement. "Always," she said, and then he couldn't hold himself back. SGC, rules, Hammonds request—all convictions aside. He slid his hands around her head, leaned forward, and kissed her. Right here. In the SGC, in the infirmary, in front of Jacob Carter.

In disbelief, Jacob watched the scene play out in front of him.

_What the heck?_

That's why George had told him so little about Sam's and Jack's return and had suggested to talk to her himself? He didn't know what to do. Didn't want to interrupt them awkwardly—Selmac was doing his best in holding him back from storming towards them and ripping Jack away from his daughter. But he didn't need to do anything. The kiss ended, and they pressed their foreheads together in a very loving moment that eased the urge in him to punch Jack. And then Sam's eyes fell on him. She let go of O'Neill, an embarrassed redness flushing her checks.

"Dad!"

Jack swirled around and stumbled off the bed and took in a half salute that made Jacob want to say, 'at ease.' But he enjoyed seeing the nothing-can-kill-my-cool-Colonel nervously tug on his BDU.

"Jacob, Sir…" Jack coughed. His eyes were jumping from Sam to Jacob.

"So?" Jacob teased. Enjoying Jack's nervousness a bit longer, before he remembered why he was so nervous. "What is going on here?"

Only then he noticed the pain on Sam's face.

"I don't know, what you know yet," Sam said, but Jacob interrupted her, "Nothing."  
"You better take a seat. It's a long story," Jack said.

Jacob side-eyed him. "Oh, I do believe so…"

* * *

Daniel, Jack, and Teal'c were sitting in Daniel's office. A private space to talk. Daniel had pulled the information slowly from Jack. He wasn't much of a talker, and he had talked a lot today. But obviously, Daniel wasn't let go. Only when Jack arrived at the end of the story, the moment they stepped through the gate and realized that Sam had lost her baby on the way, Daniel was quiet for a very long time. He had assumed it, had dreaded it; now it was confirmed. There was so much pain on Jack's face. An expression Daniel knew all too well, and that looked very similar to when he had met Jack for the first time—shortly after losing Charlie.

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Jack," Daniel said. "If there's anything we can do to…," he stopped. What possibly could he do?

Jack pressed his lips together and looked at Daniel. Daniel noticed how much different this Jack was from the one he met eight years ago. Not as closed up and tight with his feelings. But rather thankful for having a friend who cared, even if he would never say so.

"O'Neill, did the planet you were stranded on have two moons? One bright white, the other blood red," Teal'c asked his head somewhere else.

Jack nodded.

"When I was Primus of Apophis, I heard a myth about a planet of endless youth."

Daniel's eyes ripped wide open.

"According to legend, it was the planet of the Goa'Uld Thot. A planet on which time passed differently than anywhere else. Thot would send his children and bring them back by ship as strong, grown men ready to be hosts. Thot himself only went to the planet through the Chappa'ai, and when he came back, he was unchanged but wiser—only after some hours."

While Teal'c was talking, Daniel was rummaging through his notes and finally produced the paper he had shown Teal'c only a day ago, and he had pretended not to know a thing about it.

"As I told you Teal'c," he said with an unanswered side-eye. "I found this paper that talks about an artifact, and it could…"  
"This could be it," Jack interrupted him. No need for papers right now. "Now it makes sense why Anubis wants this planet," he continued.

"To build his army of super-soldiers," it dawned Daniel.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"So he'll need to come by ship to bring them back," Sam suddenly stood in the door. She was back in her BDUs, looking like she had looked three days ago, but Daniel knew inside she looked different now. Daniel glanced at Jack, curious to see this new situation between the two of them play out and how it would influence the dynamics of SG1. For a brief second, he wondered if there would be an SG1 in the future at all. But other than Jack's intense squint and this one caring question he asked—"Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?"—everything was as it had been three days ago.

"I'm fine," she said with a soft smile.

"Major Carter. It's good to see you again," Teal'c walked towards Sam and wrapped her in his giant arms. Sam relaxed in this embrace and smiled at him warmly.

"It's good to see you too, Teal'c. It's been a long time—well, at least for me."

The Jaffa bowed his head with a smile and then changed to a genuine sadness. "Major Carter, O'Neill, I offer my deepest condolences to you." He softly put his hand on her shoulder. "It is only a small comfort, but I'm certain that you and O'Neill will make many more strong and smart humans in the future."

As if it was scripted, just that moment, Jack was taking a sip of his coffee which, misdirected by Teal'c's words, went the wrong way. Coughing and snorting, he bent forward. And while Daniel would have sworn that Sam's first reaction had been embarrassment, she suddenly burst into a loud laugh while patting Jack on the back. Her laugh was so infectious that Daniel had to join, and even Teal'c's lips stretched into a big grin. Once Sam's laughter had calmed down to a chuckle or two, Jack had caught his breath and cool again.

"Thanks, T. I'll give it my best," Jack said.

This time Sam's face blushed slightly. Wide-eyed, she looked at him.

"Common Carter," Jack continued. "It must be weird for them. We come back and suddenly this..." Again, he waved his hands between him and her. "Who would have ever thought…"

"Yeah, what a surprise?" Daniel's voice weirdly went up at the end of the sentences, and Sam's slight blush turned into a full-on redness. But before she could say anything or Jack for the sake of it, Teal'c in his one and only Teal'c bluntness said, "I have experienced many times how deeply you care for one, and another and I'm happy for you to embrace this love finally."

Daniel looked from Teal'c to Jack and Sam. He caught that glance they gave each other. A look he had seen many times before but had never known what to read into it. Now it was crystal clear. Devotion. So it didn't feel awkward when Jack—for the second time of the day—ignored Hammond's warning, wrapped his arm around Sam, and pulled her closer for a little nudge, one that said it all and that made Daniel happy for his friends.

Minutes later, they were walking along the corridors carrying a new plan to defend the Nectnets and defy Anubis' latest evil plan. Teal'c ahead, followed by Daniel, followed by Sam and Jack.

"So," Jack asked casually. "How's dad?"

Sam peeked at him. "Oh, you can ask him yourself. He can't wait to talk to you."

"Always love chatting with Jacob," Jack joked.

"If General Hammond approves our plan, we'll spend quite some time together on our way back."

"I'll better get my cue cards ready then."

She smiled at him warmly, and as he looked at her, he noticed the heartache that lay on her face like a dark shadow, only sometimes expelled by the beam of her smile.

"You okay?"

She smiled a smile that shattered his heart, shook her head, and said contrary to what her face told him, "I'm fine, Sir."

And he knew right there and right then it would never be a problem for them. But he wasn't so sure the General or the President would see it that way.

Sam took her usual seat next to Jack. Daniel was right next to her. Hammond at the head of the table. Her dad right across her, eyeing her and Jack carefully. Then Teal'c and Major Wade. She felt at home in this room. How many hours had she spent here? How many life-changing decisions had been made here? She couldn't stop herself from thinking about the moment she had walked in here for the first time. With high hopes and even higher ambitions. No idea that this wouldn't just be a job, an adventure, a scientific breakthrough, but that it would change her life in so many ways. With a sense of melancholia, she thought about the first time she met Jack. So eager to impress him and at the same time stand her man. Prove that she wasn't just another female soldier, but one he would be able to trust blindly. And well, she had managed.

"Carter and Daniel came up with yet another crazy plan," O'Neill said.

"We have reason to believe that Tecma is called the Place of Endless Youth," Daniel jumped in. "Teal'c told us about a myth regarding Goa'Uld Thot who would send children there, and they would come back grown men only hours later."

"From what Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter have told me, Tecma has a close resemblance to the planet in the tale," Teal'c added.

"We believe this might be the reason Anubis is trying to take control over Tecma." Now it was Carter's turn. "It would be the perfect place to build an army of super-soldiers in high numbers quickly."

General Hammond gave those words a moment of thought, before he asked, "From what we know, everyone that goes there comes back unchanged." He couldn't help but look at Major Carter, who almost undetectably swallowed and lowered her eyes only for a brief second.

"So how can he grow an army there?"

"He takes them by ship," Daniel said.

"I studied the data the MALP sent. Besides the astrophysical difference on this planet to earth—or all the others we have visited—there's something in the gate's energy waves coming from Tecma. I believe this is causing the reconversion."

Hammond had always been impressed by this woman. But today she topped it all. She had just lost her child, had come back to a world where everything that had happened in her last three years hadn't happened, and she was just the Major she had been before they had left.

Sam kept going, "The beta magnetic particles…"  
"Carter," Jack interrupted her. "Think we don't need to know all the details…"

"Yes, Sir," she said swiftly. And again, surprised Hammond—and everyone else in the room. No one would even notice that anything was different between them. That there was anything that wasn't supposed to be. That realization made Hammond wonder if this was really a new thing.

"So we'll go back and fight off Anubis," Jack concluded.

"This planet could be a great military advantage. We could study and develop new technologies for years, but it would only use some days on earth," Sam added.

General Hammond gave it a thought, then said, "Any plan on how to fight Anubis?"

"Tecma is not part if the Goa-Uld-Asgard-agreement. We ask Thor for help," Daniel suggested.

"Very well," Hammond declared. "Colonel take SG3, 5, 10, 11 and 15. Departure 800 tomorrow morning. And now everyone, get some rest," he looked at his watch, trying to figure out when Jack or Major Wade had slept for the last time. But then simply said, "Dismissed, everyone."

While the room cleared, Hammond said quietly, "Major Carter, Colonel O'Neill. Please come to my office. Will you?"


	8. A new Alien

**Chapter 8 – A new Alien**

Sitting in Hammond's office, Jack could feel the nervousness radiate off Sam. He knew she was clawing her toes in her shoes—something she did when she was nervous; he had come to notice. Jack, on the contrary, had never felt so calm. He couldn't lose. Either they would be fine, or he would leave the SGC. Finally, retire. Those last three years had shown that he could live that way very comfortably—as long as she was on his side.

She had more to lose. Jack knew she couldn't be without this job, and he knew as well that they couldn't be without her. So it would be fine. Maybe the upcoming month would be challenging, but then—so what? The neatly folded paper in his breast pocket gave him the additional reassurance he needed. Whatever was going to happen, he wouldn't let it destroy their relationship.

Hammond looked at them for few moments before he finally said, "Major…" But he quickly interrupted himself and started over, "Sam, I'm deeply sorry for your loss. I can't even begin to imagine what you must go through."

She smiled at him quickly, thankful for his concern. Then her nervousness took over again.

Hammond took another lengthy break. Jack saw his brain searching for the right words. So Jack went ahead. "Okay, we can make this very easy," he said and pulled the paper out of his breast pocket. Carefully he unfolded it and smoothed it before he handed it to General Hammond. "I'll retire."

"What," propelled out of Sam's mouth. "No… why?"

Jack had to restrain laughter. "Carter…" he said in a way no other person could say her name.

"I believe that coming back to earth is not going to change…" Hammond struggled to put it into words. "...your new relationship."

"Not so new, George. And no."

He glanced over to Sam, who was suddenly not looking so nervous anymore.

"We've acted in the belief there was no way back, and now, that we're back, there's no way back to how it was before."

Their eyes met for a quick glance.

"I see," Hammond said. Folding Jack's paper together and pushing it back over the table. "There's no need for this right now. I just wanted to make sure that we're all on the same page. And since we are, I'll have to make some calls tonight. This is a very unique situation, and like I told Jack before, I can't make any promises. But I will do my best to make the people who make decisions understand what happened and that you were gone for three years. Major Wade and the entire SG3 team have come forward already. They want to stand witness in your favor if necessary. But I'll do my best that it won't come to that. I just can't ignore it." He felt to urge to add that they should watch what they were doing, but then he decided against it. He trusted them. And only now, he remembered that he had two grieving parents sitting in front of him.

"You should get some rest now. There's a SG1 mission tomorrow," was all he added.

"Thank you, Sir," Jack and Sam said simultaneously and got up.

Quietly they walked the corridors to Sam's lab. Once they closed the doors behind them, they turned to each other and looked into each other's faces for the first time in forever. She couldn't even wrap her head around all the things that happened today, about all the feelings she had felt. She had lost their baby and felt this unbearable grief, but at the same time, she was relieved about being back home, while at the same time everything was just so complicated back here.

"Wanna get out of here?" Jack asked, noticing her head spin. "Watch the Simpsons, order pizza, eat ice cream?"

"All the best things earth has to offer?" she smiled.

"Well, I got the best thing, off-world. But the second-best things, yeah."

"I missed you today," she said, suddenly looking so tired and hurt.

"Missed you too. A day on earth feels so much longer than one on Tecma." He smiled softly at her, then reached out and said, "Your place or mine?"

* * *

One of the good things of only being gone for three earth days was that their cars were still there. They had left the SGC separately, and each driving in their own car towards Sam's house. Sam parked her car in front of her door and sat there for a moment, looking at her home. There it stood. The light in the kitchen still on, just like she remembered leaving it. As if nothing had happened. As if she hadn't been gone for three years. Instinctively her hand wandered to her belly, only to find it flat and toned. Nothing made it seem that she had been gone for three years. She took a deep, shaky breath. Maybe only now comprehending that her life had changed in the blink of a second. It was almost harder now. Stranding on Tecma had been a significant change, but coming back was even more overwhelming. Hot tears started to bubble up, but before they could stream out, she saw a light in the rear-view mirror. _Jack! _She thought, got out of the car, and waited there for him. The car door opened and closed, and the steps came closer—steps that didn't sound like him. And when she saw the outline of the person against the night sky, she noticed it wasn't Jack.

_Oh no…_

"Sam," she heard Pete's voice. "Finally, you got me worried."

The cop was coming closer about to wrap her in his arms, but Sam stumbled backward.

"Pete?"

She had completely forgotten him, forgotten that he had come to spend a week in Colorado Springs. Forgotten that they had started seeing each other two months ago. Forgotten that he even existed. She hadn't spared one thought on him. Ever since she had taken the elevator into the mountain three days—or three years ago—he hadn't crossed her mind once.

"So, that was a long deep space telemetry emergency?" Pete asked. Clearly not believing the lie she had told him.

"Why are you still here?" She couldn't deal with this, with him. She wanted him to go. To never have met him in the first place.

"I waited for you. We still have three days before I have to head back," Pete smiled at her, noticing her uneasiness. "Wanna go in?" He reached for her hand, but she winced back. Leaving a startled look on his face. Just that moment another car stopped behind her, the door opened and closed and she heard his steps come closer.

"Carter?" Jack asked, squinting at this guy standing way to close to her, reaching for her hand. "All good here?" There was a warning in his voice, and he didn't move his eyes from Pete.

"All very good here," Pete said sharply. Wondering who that guy thought he was. Calling her Carter and imposing this military authority all over him. "I'm Pete Shanahan. Sam's boyfriend. And you are?"

Sam noticed hot jealousy blink over Jack's face. But as soon as it had come, as soon it was gone. Leaving the no-bullshit-expression, he wore so well.

"Colonel Jack O'Neill. Sam's…" he stopped. Yeah, Sam's what? He looked at her, and she saw the helplessness in his face. An expression that said: What else could possibly happen today?

Pete didn't like the way this Colonel looked at Sam and even less the way she looked at him.

"Let's go inside," Pete tried again softly and reached for Sam's hand, but Jack was faster and grabbed tightly around Pete's wrist. Pete looked at him with anger, but before he could say a word, Sam let out a sob. This moment was the drop on her chock-full basin of tears. She couldn't hold back anymore. Both men swirled around.

"Jack, please…" she said, looking at him and then to Pete's complete astonishment she reached out for the older guys hand. With two steps, Jack was close to her.

"Listen, Pete," Jack said in a propitiatory tone. "We had three very long days. Carter needs rest. I'm sure she will explain everything to you when she feels better."

Pete wanted to object. HE was her boyfriend, and who was that guy? But there was something so earnest and authoritative in the voice of this Colonel that Pete didn't know what to say. So he tugged his tail and turned around like an exiled stray.  
"I think I don't need any explanation," Pete said. He had a thing for this woman, he really had, but this all was just too strange. Better get out before getting too involved, he thought and said, "Bye Sam."

Moments later, the door fell closed behind them. They were standing in her dim hallway. Sam took in a deep breath, and Jack watched her closely. Here, in her home, this felt new again—just like their relationship had felt new in the SGC. He took a step forward and placed his hands on her shoulders for a gentle squeeze. She relaxed under his touch and encouraged he slid his arms around her and pulled her close. He dug his nose in the curl of her neck and took a deep breath. This smelled like home—no matter where they were.

She turned in his embrace, and he looked into the deepest blue flooded with pain. Gently he stroked his thumb over her face.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking all worried.

"For what?" he asked.

"What just happened. I should have told you, but I just forgot about him. We only dated a couple of weeks…."

He sealed her words with a kiss, and when he moved away from her said, "It was years ago, Sam. It doesn't matter. I'm just sorry that it had to happen today."

He pulled her close again, nudged his nose into her hair and mumbled, "I'm sorry that nothing is good."

"You're good," she muttered into his chest, and then her lips found his. It started as a soft kiss that fueled the fire that was burning in them. They quickly lost control. Trying to ease their pain, their grief, their uncertainty with each other's bodies.

Sam inhaled sharply when he pressed her against the wall and ripped her shirt off her body. His hot lips leaving even hotter trails on her neck. Hectically her hands searched for his belt, yanked it opened, and slipped into his pants. She wanted him. She needed him. Only he could dull her pain. Only he could make her feel something but misery. He dropped his pants, lifted her up, and in one fluid move thrust inside her. The sensation numbed all their feelings, all their thoughts, only allowing for the moment to be. Her breath got heavy, he groaned into her neck, and with a coinstantaneous high they came. Shaking, they dropped to the floor. Head to head. Waiting for their torsos to move at normal speed again. She lifted her hand and tenderly placed it on his cheek. It was wet, and she knew it wasn't sweat. His body shook in one deep tremble, and he let out a hot, lost breath. Another tear—it would the last one—running down his cheek. She had never seen him like this. Never imagined he would react like this. But here he was, mourning their lost child. She pulled him closer, buried his head with her body, stroking calming circles over his back.

* * *

Five SG teams and several marines where standing all geared up and armed to the teeth in the gateroom. Daniel didn't like the energy. Aggressive, focused, ready to lose it all. This wasn't just a mission—this was going to war. Against an almost invincible enemy—he had experienced it first hand. But they had fought him back once, so maybe this time they could manage too. Daniel hoped Thor would arrive in time to save their butts if necessary. A little extra help from above wouldn't be bad. He zipped up his bulletproof vest when the doors to the gateroom opened, and General Hammond, Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter marched in.

The room lapsed into silence — all eyes on Jack and Sam. Of course, everyone knew. The news had spread like wildfire: Major Carter had been pregnant, and Colonel O'Neill was the father.

Jack looked around, staring back at the faces that stared at them. Then he stepped in front of Carter, shielding her from those hungry eyes and started barking commands, which reminded every single person in this room that he was Colonel O'Neill—someone you don't mess with.

"Major Anderson, SG15 and the marines will hold the gate. Major Wade, you'll lead SG3 with Major Carter to the villagers. SG 5, 10, 11, blow up that damn super-solider nursery. Teal'c, Daniel, and I will get on the ship and blow it up. Keep the radio on."

A chorus of "Yes Sir!" echoed through the room and gave Daniel goosebumps.

"And remember guys, time is running over there. So let's get over with his quickly."

The gate started dialing, and General Hammond watched his little army waiting for the blue puddle to form.

"I'm not sure you made the right call here, George," Jacob was standing next to Hammond, watching the teams step through the gate.

Hammond was ignoring all sorts of rules today. Colonel O'Neill shouldn't be leading this mission, Major Carter shouldn't be going, and Teal'c's arm still wasn't fully healed. If this went wrong, it would cost him his head. But he knew there wasn't a better team out there to lead this mission. So he nodded with mixed feelings. "I guess we'll find out soon."

"I'll be heading to the Tok'Ra world and get the Kel' Tak to Tecma. Let's see how many months have past until I get there," Jacob said and patted Hammond on the shoulder for goodbye.

* * *

Sam felt wobbly when she stepped onto Tecma. Just like after her very first trip through the gate. _Could you unlearn gate travel?_ She wondered. She looked around her old home. They had been 20 hours on earth, so almost a year had passed since they left. As the MALP had predicted, there was no Jaffa activity on the ground, but a colossal mothership hovering over the mountain. Sam took a deep breath, something felt funny. Her team members blurred into the green of the forest, and Sam wasn't sure if it was because of the cameo suits or because of the dizziness she felt, and that wouldn't go away. Sam tumbled backward and grabbed the gate to steady her. She knew gliders would come, and she needed to go into cover, just like the others. So she let go of the gate and took a shaky step forward. That moment a sharp pain struck through her abdomen, hurled her forward and cleared her head.

"Sam," she heard Daniel yell, followed by, "Jack!"

She clenched onto the gate, trying to stay on her feet. And then she noticed: it was back.

"Carter," Jack's voice came from somewhere far. And then he was right next to her. He looked at her, saw the surprise and pain in her face, and then noticed her bump. It was back. Startled, she wrapped her hands around her belly. _How could that be? _She let out a groan and gasped for air when another sharp pain flashed through her body.

"Fuck," Jack said. "I mean not fuck. But fuck. Now? Here? Is it coming?"

"I don't know," she pressed out. "Feels like it…"

"Fuck…" he said again and shoved her into his arms, moving her away from the gate into the protection of the coffee bushes just moments before the first round of glider salves hit the ground around the gate.

Everyone was staring at them. They all had speculated about it. Most didn't believe it. But here she was, pregnant and in the arms of the Colonel. Softly he put her down, and even though he knew everyone was watching, he couldn't stop himself from gently putting his hand on her belly and smiling at her and this wonder.

"It's a happy fuck, promise," he said with a boyish grin.

She smiled at him, but then another pain let her flinch.

"Happy, too, just… hurts."

"You can't go back, and we won't be able to get Fraiser here."

The baby would have to come here, right on a battlefield.

"Daniel," she moaned. "He's done it…"

Jack looked at his friend, who was standing a few steps away to give them as much privacy as possible.

"You sure?" Not sure how to feel about the idea of Daniel being down there.

Sam noticed the look on his face and pinched him, "Jack, it's coming. No time for awkwardness."

Another wave of pain rolled over her. Jack squeezed her hand, then turned to Daniel, "Daniel, ready to deliver baby number three?"

Daniel looked at them with a mix of panic and surprise. Nervously he pushed his glass up his nose and mumbled. "You sure…?"

This moment an explosion rocked the sky and another contraction Sam's body. "Daniel," she hissed. _Yeah, in a hospital bed with Janet by her side would be her preferred way of doing this, but well._

"Okay, okay," he knelt behind her when a glider salve hit a tree and sent it trembling down next to Major Wade.

"Colonel, we got to get on that ship," Major Wade yelled.

Sam knew Wade was right. They would need to blow it up. That was their best bet.

"Go," she said, squeezing his hands. She could see the fear on his face and knew he didn't want to leave her. But this was the moment he had to be the Colonel everyone was counting on.

"It's okay. Daniel and I'll be fine."

"I will stay with Major Carter and protect her and the baby with my life," Teal'c stepped closer, gripping his staff weapon tightly.

"Go," she said one more time.

Jack looked around. The other SG teams were taking down one glider after the other, but they kept coming. They needed to get on the ship and blow it up. Daniel had the ring controller. He knew they could manage. He turned back to Sam, her face calm. A real soldier. Not showing her pain. He hesitated for a second but then ignored what pulled him back. This was more than evident. Everyone knew. He gently stroked over her cheek and whispered, "I love you."

She heard Daniel gasp in surprise.

"I love you too. And now go."

He leaned forward and kissed her. In the middle of a battle. Right in front of everyone. And he didn't care.

"I'll be back."

And off he went.

From a distance, Sam heard him bellow commands, and out of the corner of her eyes, she watched the men spread out. Then a cloud of pain came over her and only dispelled a long time later when she heard a sweet little scream.

"You've made it, Sam, you've made it." Daniel cheered and gently put a little bundle wrapped in his jacket into her arms.

When Sam opened her eyes, she fell into the bluest blue she had ever seen. A fall that didn't end, but streamed around her with the winds of love. Never had she experienced something like this. This instant connection. This feeling that nothing was more important than this little human being in her arms. It was as if joy had exploded in her. With an uncontrollable beam, she looked up to Daniel and Teal'c. Daniel was shedding tears—of course. And even the raise of Teal'c's eyebrow could have been read as deep emotions.

Daniel reached for his radio and said, "Jack." He waited for a response, which came a second later. You could hear gunshots, screaming men, explosions, but a cheerful voice from the Colonel, "Daniel?"

"It's a girl... They're both fine," Daniel said with joy in his voice.

And suddenly the wildest sounds ever coming through radio reached Sam, Teal' and Daniel—a series of overjoyed screams from each and every SG member on this planet. Everyone relieving the tension and worry they had felt and unleashing an unbridled euphoria.

Finally, Jack's voice broke through the happy ecstasy, "Don't drop her, Carter" With so much love in his voice that Sam felt goosebumps over her skin.

Maybe this was the most heroic moment in her life, she wondered. She took a deep breath and then waved for Teal'c's hand. He helped her up, but Daniel wasn't happy about it, "You should rest, Sam."

"I'm fine, Daniel," she said, looking at that little alien in her arms. Yes, alien—she was born on an alien planet after all.

"You are indeed a strong and brave warrior, Major Carter," Teal'c said and looked proudly at the woman he called his close friend.

"Carter, you did well." Jack's voice came out of her radio, just for her to hear. Followed by another series of shots, and suddenly her radio went silent. Worried, she looked up to Teal'c and Daniel, and that moment, right behind their heads, the mothership burst into a giant yellow fireball in the sky. Panic widened Sam's eyes as she reached for her radio, "Jack!"

Nothing.

"Jack?"

Nothing.

"Colonel O'Neill, come in."

No reply.


	9. Grace

**Chapter 9 – Grace**

"Jack?" she tried for a last time, but there was no answer coming from the radio. It just couldn't be. Not after what they had been through. Not after losing their child only for it to be born into a battlefield on a world that wasn't even her home. Sam tried to keep her breathing steady and her tears under control. But the little human in her arms seemed to notice that something was wrong and let out a cry. Without a word, she pushed her daughter into Daniel's arm and lifted her hands over her head. It couldn't be. It was time that they finally could have everything. Being together on earth, with their daughter. And now it seemed he had disappeared with a yellow blast.

Teal'c was the first to spot movement in the bushes. He pointed his staff weapon into the direction the shuffle was coming from; its deadly tip opened like a predator's eye. Distracted from her horrible thoughts, Sam swirled into the direction Teal'c was staring and instinctively pulled her sidearm. Daniel pressed the little girl closer to his body. Sam was the better shooter. If their life depended on it, he would do a better job of protecting the child.

Banned, they stared at the approaching movement. _Jaffa? Supersoldiers? SG-teams? Jack?_ All options run through her head. With their recent events and her luck, it would be a supersoldier. The trees parted, and first, they saw more green. Cameo. SG people. Then Sam's heart dropped as he walked out of the greenery.

"Jack," she said. Unable to control her emotions to play along with the stupid military rules but holding herself back from storming towards him. He was unhurt. Some scratches and something that looked like it would become a bad bruise on his forehead—but alive and okay. Behind him, the other SG teams appeared. First in victorious chats, but when their eyes fell on Sam, and the baby in Daniel's arms and they stopped mid-walk, mid-talk, watching Colonel O'Neill slowly approach his new family. Sam greeted him with a bright smile. His heart beat faster, his throat choked, and his knees turned soft when he closed the gap between them.

"It's a girl," Sam said softly and looked from the little girl in Daniel's arms to Jack—who was helplessly lost in the baby's blue eyes. _Carter's eyes_. He looked up to the woman he had allowed himself to love and kissed her gently.

"She's got your eyes," he said, his voice a pure whisper.

Daniel, standing in between them, was getting uncomfortable by their affection and carefully placed the baby in Jack's arms.

"Uh, I don't think you need me here…" Daniel mumbled.

The moment he held his daughter, a sensation of happiness rolled over Jack. The purest feeling of love and devotion and then—he knew he would come—that painful pinch that reminded him of the first time he had held Charlie in his arms. As if Sam could follow his train of thoughts, she snugged onto him and said softly, "You're gonna be the best dad this little girl can ever have."

He looked up, from one blue to the other, so ever grateful for her words.

He smirked. "You know, I'll never be able to say no to anything if she looks at me with your eyes."

Sam giggled and kissed him gently. "Good to know."

"So looks like you blew up the ship?" Daniel asked after giving the three some time to themselves.

"Actually, Thor," Jack said. "His ship is in the planet's orbit. That guy has good timing."

"He beamed you out?"

"Wade and I had set up all the explosives on the ship, but before we could trigger them, he beamed us up."

Major Wade joined SG1 plus one. "My men say the supersoldiers dropped dead the moment the ship exploded. There must have been some sort of connection…"

"Take a team and make sure they are all dead, then bring the good news to the villagers, and then head home. They'll probably miss us already. We must have been gone for," Jack checked his watch, "entire three minutes."

Wade nodded, then looked at the baby in the Colonel's arm. "Congratulations Major Carter, Colonel. I'm very happy for you."

"Thanks, Major," Sam said.

"So, why didn't Thor beam us up?" Daniel asked.

"Apparently, Thor has never beamed a baby before. And he didn't want to do it without the permission of its mom," he winked at Carter. "My approval didn't count."

Sam laughed, "Okay, let's get up there, then."

* * *

"So, this is a human child." Curiously Thor looked at the baby in Jack's arm. The little grey alien was intrigued. He had never seen a human that was only hours old. "As you know, the Asgards are not capable of reproduction; therefore, my question: was this child conceived the usual way?" He looked at O'Neill and Sam, who immediately flushed.

"I wouldn't say it was usual," Jack said with a waggle in his eyebrows, which earned him a jab in his side from Sam.

"I do not understand," Thor said, oblivious to Jack's teenage humor.

"Ignore him," Sam said. "It was conceived the usual way. Just everything else was unusual. When we left Tecma I thought I had lost it, but when we came back it was there again. There's something about this planet in combination with very unusual energy waves coming through the gate, that almost works like time travel for your body."

Jack noticed Sam's and Daniel's head started to spin. And even Thor looked like he was thinking about something.

"Thor, you said with more time maybe the Asgards could find a solution to fix your genome problem," Daniel asked.

"Correct, Daniel Jackson."

"Well, if this planet got one thing, it's time en masse."

"I understand you're planning on using this planet as a research center," Thor said.

"Yes, but we could share," Daniel said and got Sam all excited by an Asgard-Human lab. Jack was quick to catch up on this one.

"Do you want to make sure Carter stays away from me?" he asked, half-jokingly, half concerned

Sam stepped closer to him and put her hand on his shoulder, looking at their little child in his arms. "Never," she muttered.

"Uh… guys, would you give us a minute," Jack said, longing for time with Sam and his baby only.

After the others had left, Jack and Sam looked at each other for a quiet moment. So many feelings were rushing through their bodies, all of them making them happy.

"I know, I'm repeating myself, but I need to say it again. I love you, Carter," he said after a while, speaking with his amber eyes as much as with his words. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me." Then he looked at the little girl in her arms and added, "And now you gave me her."

* * *

The journey was passing uneventfully. Thor was taking them to the next planet with a Stargate so they could travel back safely without reversing everything that had happened to them. Teal'c, Daniel, and Thor had given Jack and Sam their privacy. Daniel was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that Jack and Sam were—yeah Jack and Sam now. And that they had a kid. He wondered how many more surprises the universe would hold for them.

Sam and the baby had fallen asleep in Jack's arm. Now he was sitting there looking at both of them. Still unable to comprehend what had happened in the past two days—but so grateful for how it had turned out. Now there was only one thing to do: figure out if they would get court-martialed or not. With some sadness, he realized that the time of SG1 would be over. But as he looked at his two sleeping ladies, he knew he was just fine with that.

Footsteps brought him back to the ship, and he saw Teal'c walk in and stop at the door. With a glance, he reassured that Sam and the baby were asleep, then got up to meet his friend.

"We there yet?" he said quietly as they left the room and headed towards the ship's command center.

"Very soon, O'Neill."

"Great, I'm getting hungry. The Asgards don't understand much of food."

"Indeed," Teal'c said, then abruptly stopped. "I am delighted for you and Major Carter," he said with a softness in his voice.

"Thanks, T, me too."

* * *

Hours later, the five of them appeared in a white beam on P2X-496 right in front of the Stargate.

"So, Campers, ready to go home?" Jack asked.

"How do we know the gate travel won't revise everything that happened," Daniel asked, looking fondly at the baby in Sam's arms.

"He is right. Maybe my theory is wrong, and it has nothing to do with the planet at all," Sam wondered. She wouldn't let her baby disappear again.

"Let's send a test person," Jack suggested, eying Daniel with a grin.

"Jaack, what are you planning?"

But before Daniel could even finish his sentences, Jack had pulled the knife from his pocket and swiftly sliced a strain of hair off Daniel's head.

"That'll do," he said self-satisfied.

Daniel grabbed for the short strain that poked into the air, making him look like three year old after a self-performed haircut.

"Thanks," he said bitterly but turned to dial the gate. More than willing to be the test rabbit on this one.

The blue puddle formed, swallowed Daniel and Teal'c and closed again.

"So," Jack said, looking at the baby in Sam's arms. "I was thinking: Grace."

As reply, he looked into wide-opened blue eyes. He wasn't sure what to read into them. Shock? Surprise? Dislike? So, nervous as he was, he followed up, "Unless you want me to call her Carter?"

Grace? Sam couldn't believe it. She was sure she had never told him, or anyone else about Grace. About how that girl had been the reason why she had made it through the time on Prometheus. What was the universe telling her now?

Jack watched her think, process and misunderstood her hesitation for dislike. "I just thought… I like the name. It's my grandma's. But that was just an idea…"

"Grace is great," she interrupted him, a big smile spreading on her face. She didn't want to be superstitious but couldn't help think that this had always been supposed to be.

* * *

He woke from a scream. Tumbling through the dark bedroom, he hit his toe at the bed and quietly cursed, trying not to wake Carter. Carefully he lifted Grace out of her bed and nestled her against his chest. Without making a sound, he grabbed a blanket and left the bedroom. The roof was his favorite place to feed and calm her — the summer nights were warm with a pleasant breeze. The stars sparkling above them reminded him of Tecma—where his new life had started.

He still couldn't wrap his head around how easy it had been. After coming back through the gate, Hammond and the entire SGC had welcomed them the warmest way. Janet had checked Grace, declared for healthy, and put in the cutest little romper, and then, Grace wandered from arm to arm. Jacob first of course. For the longest time, he had stared into Grace's eyes. And Jack was sure he had seen his eyes become watery. But he had cut the comment, now that he actually was his 'dad.' Hammond after Jacob, equally attracted by this mini Sam. Then Siler, Walter, Wade, basically any female person on the base. Even Rosie, his favorite chef, had come down to welcome Grace to earth—and bring him an extra piece of cake. Hammond had sent them home with the words 'Don't worry, son, we'll talk about it on Monday.' and they had spent their first days back on earth as a family. He remembered how life-changing the early days with Charlie had been. Everything had been new and shown that he and Sarah had only known each other for two years. Bringing Grace home with Carter was different. Everything just fell in place. Of course, having a baby was new. But he and Sam just worked together. Fighting Goa'Ulds seemed the right practice for being parents. Now three months later, it was official. He hadn't asked which strings Hammond had pulled, but he knew they reached all the way up. SG1 was still a team—Sam as civilian now. But for now, they were a family first. Three months together. Three months of getting adjusted on earth, moving in together, buying baby stuff together, watching Simpsons together. And he loved every moment of it.

Jack cringed a bit by the thought of tomorrow. It would be his first day back while Sam had another three months. He wouldn't only be going back to work, but his mom was coming. Yeah, hadn't been able to keep that from Sam. But then again, had he ever been able to keep anything from her?

Grace let out a sigh. _Grandma is gonna eat you up, _he thought, and then another thought crossed his mind. He got up and went back to their bedroom. Gently he put Grace back to bed and then dug through his sock drawer. He knew it was somewhere in there… _There._

He climbed into bed, feeling joy wash over his body when he saw her lying there. She looked so peaceful, he didn't want to wake her, but this was important, and he couldn't think of a better moment than now. He placed a kiss on her shoulder, and sleepy; she rolled around.

"Feed her?" she asked, her words heavy from sleep.

"No, all good."

He had expected to be nervous, but he wasn't. Nothing in his life had ever been so clear to him. So he pulled the little box from behind his back and gave it to her.

She looked surprised. But not as surprised as he had imagined. Slowly her fingers wrapped around the box and then opened it. A big smile spread on her lips, and when she looked up, his heart dropped a couple of stories.

"No bullets this time?" she asked. And now Jack remembered that he had used the same box to give her his birthday present back on Tecma.

"No, but equally final," he said with a soft smile. "So?"

She pulled the ring out of the box. _Naquadah_, she thought and then smiled at him a smile that was all he ever needed in his life.

"Yes," her words wandered from her lips onto his as she leaned forward and kissed him.

* * *

**No cliff hanger this time. They finally made it. Thanks for reading it. Thanks for the comments. I'm playing with the thought of an E****pilogue. Let me know if you want to read another chapter. xxx**


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